First and foremost, domestic violence, which can also be referred as intimate partner violence, can be perpetuated in various ways including: 

• Verbal;
• Emotional;
• Physical;
• Financial;
• Sexual abuse of another individual/s within the same household.

Unfortunately, it affects any member regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, and sexual orientation. (Kavita, A. 2014). Moreover, “Domestic violence is a major public health issue and has been linked with many mental health problems including anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders and psychosis” (Oram et al., 2018).

Therefore, most can agree that any form of abuse targeted towards an individual, may leave severe and harsh consequences on mental health. Without doubt, domestic violence is increasing, especially during the past two years due to Covid-19, and therefore, new measures need to be established in order combat this issue and its dreadful effects on these victims (Campbell, A. M. (2020).

Prevalence and Statistics

In order to control the spread of Covid-19, safety measures are being implemented such as social-distancing, sheltering in-place and restricting individuals’ ability to go outside (Campbell, A. M. (2020).  For instance, in May, 2020 more than one-third of the entire population of the world was under some form of restriction (Sharma & Borah, 2020). Therefore, as a result of these safety measures, family abuse is dramatically increasing and thus, data suggests that “domestic abuse is acting like an opportunistic infection, flourishing in the conditions created by the pandemic.” (Sharma & Borah, 2020). Furthermore, it’s common for perpetrators of domestic violence to isolate their victims as an act of control and the current societal conditions are likely furthering the impact of these actions. And let us not forget about the high rate of unemployment due to the Coronavirus, serving as a gateway to more marital abuse within households.

Moreover, there is this cultural belief that men should be able to defend themselves, and that there is no such thing as female violence. In a study conducted by Buzawa and her colleagues (2006), showed that “male victims reported three times the rate of serious injury as their female counterparts, 38% compared to 14%”. At the same time, Brown (2006) examined the differences on how both male and female perpetrators were treated by the social justice system. Brown sought 2,044 cases where the man was charged, 155 where the woman was charged, 118 where both were charged and 612 where a complaint was filled but neither was charged. There were 206 cases where only the male partner was injured, and the female was charged in 60.2% of those. However, when the female partner was injured, the male was charged 91.1% of the time (Dutton, 2006). Unfortunately, often when we hear or read the word domestic violence, automatically an image of a man pops up into our heads.

Domestic Violence on Male Victims

Intimate partner violence (IPV) or domestic violence (DV) is often framed as a “woman’s issue” generating the perception of males involved in violent relationships as the aggressor and more capable of inflicting injury and harm. And therefore, as a result of the ‘Gender Paradigm’ whenever a male seeks protection from a female figure, they are treated with more suspicion and with less seriousness (Dutton & White, 2013). One factor as to why any records of assaulted men tends to be low is because often the victims do not see it as abuse and so, no action is done by the police.

The same study also showed that it is far less common for men to call up a friend/relative/professional for help. Nonetheless, because of male victims not reporting their abuse, there is also lack of research about the challenges of providing support to male victims and how barriers to effective service engagement are experienced by both men and professionals in the health sector. For instance a study highlights how, male participants were subject to ridicule by their female partners and also financially abused. Therefore, it is of vital importance that this area is further explored since the safety of these men have been historically overlooked within academic research and service provision (Hines & Bates & Wallace, 2020).

Moreover, in order to tackle this issue a study has been performed by Bates, Wallace and Hines (2020), to explore the nature and context of abuse towards male victims and the perceptions of professionals’ dealing with male victims. The study mainly focused on the theme of ‘Stereotypes and expectations of men’. Conclusions revealed that even though men were exposed to verbal and physical violence, they were still hesitant and even reluctant to seek help, ending up making excuses for their perpetrators each time.

Psychological Health Issues Faced by Male Victims of Domestic Violence

Gender theories of domestic violence, which describe male dominance and violence through the sociological aspects of a patriarchal society, were introduced by feminists in the 1960s and continue to be the basis of most people’s views on domestic violence. On the other hand, the gender symmetry theory of domestic violence views violence as being portrayed both by men and women (Kavita, 2014). Having said that, domestic violence brings with it immense psychological distress, both long-term and short-term. These include depression, alcohol/substance disorder, sleeping/eating disorders, social isolation, anxiety, and personality disorders (Kavita, 2014).

A study conducted by Randle and Graham (2011), found that depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation was common as a result of IPV targeted towards men. This study also revealed that men tended to blame themselves for being abused, even though it was not their fault. A crucial reason as to why more research should be conducted on this overlooked part of the population, is because immediate attention is needed to adequately help and ensure safety of these victims.

Furthermore, an Italian study conducted by Margherita et al., (2021), which is the first ever Italian study to deal with domestic violence targeted to men, focused on the development of psychological distress by male victims and how important it is for clinicians to have a good understanding on the issue. This study showed that interventions such as provision of management guidelines, training to attending physicians and a supportive service to male survivors are needed for victims’ needs to be adequately met.

Conclusion

In conclusion, as made evident in this article, male victims suffer from various mental and physical distresses because of domestic violence. On a brighter note, however, new and improved interventions are being implemented and there is more awareness on this topic due to the fact that people are now talking about it more freely and are realizing that both, male and females can be victims of domestic violence (Hogan et al., 2012).

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Written by Nadine Agius for Betapsi on conspiracy theories

A Eurobarometer survey in 2020 that assessed beliefs in conspiracy theories has found that 29% of Maltese respondents were unable to indicate whether the statement “Viruses have been produced in government laboratories to control our freedom” is true or false. Moreover, 38% think that the cure for cancer is hidden for commercial reasons. 

What are conspiracy theories?

A conspiracy theory is usually defined as “the belief that a number of actors join together in a secret agreement, in order to achieve a hidden goal, which is perceived to be unlawful or malevolent” (Zonis & Joseph, 1994). This broad definition encapsulates different forms and institutions, including the government, industries and scientific research. 

In his book, Van Prooijen (2018) states that there are 5 criteria that make a belief a conspiracy theory;

1. A pattern of established connections between actions, objects and people that did not occur by coincidence. 
2. An agent of action that intentionally planned it out.
3. A coalition or group of actors (not always human).
4. Hostile motives for the group to act in that way.
5. Operations run in secrecy.

Who believes in them?

Conspiracy theorists aren’t zealots in a tinfoil hat, they’re all around us.

There are no set criteria of a conspiracy theorist, they may come from all walks of life. They prefer to identify themselves as critical thinkers that distance themselves from sheep-like people that are gullible enough to conform to the majority (Haramam & Aupers, 2017). However, they cannot be cooped up in one group, in fact, there are differences between categories of conspiracy theorists.

Tonkovic et al. (2021) has found that lower education, lower economic standard, higher importance of religion and having no political affiliation is associated with beliefs in COVID-19 conspiracy theories. Moreover, there is a relationship between authoritarianism, powerlessness and lower trust in science and scientists with COVID-19 conspiracy theories.

Swami et al.(2011) showed that 7/7 bombings conspiracy ideation is negatively correlated with agreeableness, life satisfaction and self-esteem, whilst having a low crystallised intelligence is related to believing in fictitious conspiracy theories. 

Additionally, social media use and how people are connected online may play a role in believing in conspiracy theories. Min (2021) has found that those who hold conservative ideologies tend to endorse conspiracy theories more, and this was exacerbated when they discussed on homogeneous social media network settings.

Why do people believe in them?

There are a number of people that keep on believing in irrational ideas in the face of scientific or logical evidence. Besides personal factors that make one more in tune to such type of thinking, there are other, social factors that influence beliefs in conspiracy theories.

Social factors

Social crises, such as the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic may increase the attention towards conspiracy theories (van Prooijen & Douglas, 2017). Such crises are rapid and have a large impact on society as a whole and make people question well-established structures and norms. As a result, people become fearful, uncertain and feel out of control. With such feelings in mind, they try to make sense of the situation by attributing the cause of the situation to certain societal actors. This leads to an increase in vigilance, hostility, and thus an ingroup-outgroup setting. In an interview with the APA in 2020, Douglas states that people feel a sense of power and hope in a situation where they have no control over when they think they have access to information that others cannot see.

Identity to a group is another precursor to believing in conspiracy theories. When a group you are a member of is undermined, you are more likely to believe in conspiracy theories against the agents of those actions (Galinsky & Moskowitz,2000). The influence of this increases when you perceive your social group to be superior to the rest. In a way, it serves as a warning signal- that one’s group is being threatened by a hostile outgroup. Although it has a pro-social aspect in mind, it may lead to disastrous consequences for those considered in the conspiracy (van Prooijen,2018).

Politicians and people holding high power are often the targets of conspiracy theories. This is due to a feeling of outgroup threat conspirers experience. It is easy to blame a party that has a lot of power and the ability to do harm, as one feels threatened by the decision-making abilities they have (Imhoff & Bruder, 2014). Hence, the combination of strongly identifying with one’s group and perceiving other groups as a threat increases the beliefs in conspiracy theories.

How can we reduce beliefs in them?

You might be asking yourself why you should care about conspiracy theories. It is a certainty that conspiracy theories are detrimental to the lives of countless people, and to society, as such we should be concerned that people hold such beliefs. One should not blindly follow leaders and powerful groups without scrutiny or criticism, on the other hand, one should not accept strange theories that have no scientific and logical background (van Prooijen,2018). For instance, believing in medical conspiracy theories results in higher use of alternative medicine and avoidance of traditional medicine, such as using sunscreen and getting the influenza shot (Oliver & Wood,2014). Such behaviours are harmful to themselves as they are more prone to illness and disease, and for others such as spreading the influenza virus. 

Hence it is important that beliefs in conspiracy theories are reduced. Van Prooijen (2016) suggests that education and the educational institution is a powerful tool in reducing beliefs in conspiracy theorizing among the population, through providing problem-solving skills, learning how to master one’s own environment and proving an opportunity to increase their opportunity in the job market. The educational curriculum should promote analytical thinking and that, social problems have no simple solutions.

Fostering a belief in science and its findings is pivotal to shifting thinking away from conspiracy theories. This can start at home by discussing issues with friends and family, as Goldberg et al. (2019) found that having “climate conversations” may lead to accepting scientific understandings of climate change. Having high scientific thinking leads one to search for more information accurately, and think deliberatively on what they found, specifically during the COVID-19 pandemic, whereby those more attune to scientific thinking felt less intimidated and threatened (Čavojová et al.,2020). Thus, being less prone and vulnerable to misinformation. 

Conclusion

As a result, policymakers and educational institutions should be aware of the implications of conspiracy beliefs and how it is related to scientific thinking in order to implement such teachings into the educational system. Most people are not aware of the complexities of scientific research and how it does not provide quick and easy explanations, in fact, the results of one experiment doesn’t mean it’s a done deal (Weigmann,2018). I encourage all readers to be aware of what they are reading and make sure it is from a reputable source and backed up by findings from authentic research journals that have been peer-reviewed. By being mindful of what we read and repost, we can prevent the spread of misinformation, and reduce the incidence of harmful conspiracy theories.

Find some more articles by Betapsi Malta here.

The post I want to believe: The psychology of conspiracy theories | Betapsi Malta appeared first on The Third Eye.

Written by Kristina Micallef Pulè

Recent polls carried out to measure which countries are most LGBTIQ+ friendly stated that Malta was voted the tenth safest globally. Considering how many countries there are in the world, a number ten ranking is really not that bad; but is it accurate? The reality of Malta’s LGBTIQ+ friendliness is debatable and open to interpretation.

Pride Month is still celebrated every September here in Malta; with a plethora of activities and events organised, including the Pride March that is held in our capital, Valletta. If Malta is already so LGBTIQ+ friendly, why do we still celebrate Pride? In honour of Pride Month here in Malta, let’s take a look at why we still need Pride.

LGBTIQ+ Phobia is Still a Thing

LGBTIQ+ rights here in Malta have improved in recent years. That doesn’t mean that LGBTIQ+ phobia isn’t still lurking among us. Last year, a police report was filed against a man who was matching with people through a gay dating app, misleading them into meeting, and physically attacking them. Even more recently, two women were violently kicked out of a bar in Paceville for kissing. Transphobic attacks of a cyber nature were also observed, aimed at transgender Maltese people who have a social media presence.

These are the events that were spoken about publicly, receiving some attention from the media; who knows what goes on implicitly, behind closed doors, or isn’t even spoken about?

Members from the LGBTIQ+ community have reported feeling uncomfortable simply holding hands with their significant others in public. They fear eliciting a dirty look, or having someone tell them they’re rubbing their relationship in their face. You don’t see people doing that to heterosexual couples who hold hands in public.

Gay Conversion Therapy is Still Happening

Back in 2016 a law passed in Malta making the practice of gay conversion therapy illegal after psychological studies showed that the practice is harmful and unethical.

“Not only does it reject a group of individuals on the basis of unfound prejudice and lack of tolerance for diversity, but also because it impinges on the international recognition of
LGBTIQ rights; also supported by progressive trends to depathologise such individuals from mental health statistical manual classifications.”

(Malta Chamber of Psychologists, 2016)

Despite this law being passed, organisations and communities claiming to be ‘ex-gays’ and ‘ex-LGBT’ are still surfacing. Not only are they claiming to be ‘cured’ from a homosexual lifestyle, but they are pushing a disguised, dangerous narrative that lures vulnerable people into their grasp, promising them that they can change and be ‘saved’ too. This way of thinking perpetuates the deeply flawed notion that being part of the LGBTIQ+ community is something to be ashamed of. It continues to marginalise a community that has worked tirelessly for centuries to be accepted and treated with respect.

We Owe it to our Ancestors

Pride originated from the Stonewall Riots which were protests in response to police raids held in New York in 1969. These people stood up, fought and risked their lives with the authorities. They made it possible for LGBTIQ+ people to live normal lives and to be accepted by society.
Pride celebrates diversity and embracing your true self. It’s also a time to commemorate those who fought relentlessly to change the course of history for the better. It’s a time where we can keep marching in their footsteps.

If There’s LGBTIQ+ Pride, why isn’t there ‘Straight Pride’?

Some might argue that it is a form of inequality for the LGBTIQ+ community to celebrate Pride when those who do not fall into that category do not. They might say that the Pride March is annoying; a nuisance to people who aren’t part of the community. That it tends to get too loud and too flamboyant. In fact, following the 2018 Pride March in Malta, an antigay ‘Rosary Rally’ was organised by an extremist religious group. It was a warped attempt to ‘repair’ the damage that was done to God. Every now and again we are also made aware of plans for a ‘Straight Pride’ to be organised.

Think About it… Is there really the need for a ‘Straight Pride’?

People who do not identify with the LGBTIQ+ community were never banned from attending and celebrating Pride. It’s a safe space for all, so long as everyone’s accepted and treated with respect.

However, to those who are still adamant on a ‘Straight Pride’, I ask:

• Has your identity only been legal and depathologized for the past 48 years?
• Can you be dismissed from your job and kicked out of your own house based solely off your sexuality?
• Can you be beaten up or killed just for being part of the LGBTIQ+ community?

If you answered ‘no’ to the above questions, then you don’t need a Straight Pride.

To Answer the ‘Pride’ Question…

Pride doesn’t discriminate. It’s an opportunity, a celebration, and most importantly a moment where you can be wholeheartedly at peace with your identity. Pride is a safe environment where you can be unapologetically yourself.

It’s true that Malta has come a long way since the first Pride celebration in 2004, but that doesn’t mean we should stop celebrating altogether. We still have a long way to go, and even in a perfect world where LGBTIQ+ Phobia does not exist, we would still need Pride.

Read The Third Eye’s interview with ARC here!

The post Why We Still Need Pride in 2021 | Betapsi appeared first on The Third Eye.

Written by Rachel Dalli

Ever wondered what drives people to get into a life of criminality? Why don’t they opt to escape the cycle?

According to Clark, people may start flirting with criminality from a young age and eventually phase out. However, others entangle themselves so deeply within the web of criminality that exiting is near impossible. This route can be illustrated by a corridor with doors to an end, allowing for a constant escape option at varying stages.

The stages are as follows:

Stage 1: Onset

The onset of criminal activity occurs between the ages of thirteen and fifteen. It may also be initiated throughout late adolescence. The onset predicts how criminal careers unfold as studies show that earlier onsets are linked with prolonged and more serious careers. This results from high criminal potential and availability of facilities to commit crimes. The onset of a criminal career is accredited to a wide variety of contingencies, ranging from one’s own personal attributes to the family and social contexts surrounding the individual.

Factors such as impulsiveness, aggression, engagement in risky activities, the formation of shallow emotional attachments, along with exhibitions of low self-control are linked to the likelihood of practicing illegal behaviour.

Stage 2: Escalation

Escalation is the conscious decision to persist along the corridor of criminality thus declining the possibility of leading a conventional life. The contingencies involved in escalation of crime are similar to those encouraging onsets, namely childhood risk exposures as a result of family dynamics. This can result from previous involvement in crimes themselves allows for experimentation with a greater versatility in crime. It then facilitates the possibility of escalation later in their careers ; a lack of sufficient supervision, which provides the opportunity at flirting with crimes; or maltreatment.

Apart from family, the magnitude of influence of peers on individual criminal behaviour never falters, lingering to adulthood without diminishing. Although the prospect for identifying the exact nature of the relationship between peer relationships and patterns for escalation is not well-distinguished, it is undeniable that connections with delinquent peers increase risks of committing crimes.

Stage 3: Commitment

As the name suggests, this stage is the adult’s confirmation of and commitment to a lifestyle with blatant dismissal of any alternatives available (Clark, 2006). This is done after a thorough cost-benefit analysis of crime commitment. This decision is fueled by the perception that abandoning this deviant career will yield negligible benefits (Clark, 2006). Along with the fear of being affronted with harsh consequences, should they attempt to settle in a non-deviant group (Stebbins, 1971), such as severe loss of income and perks brought about by engaging in criminality.

These consequences are amplified if the individual has been caught and processed through the criminal justice system, subjecting them to increased police contact, loss of reputation, and social exclusion (Clark, 2006). The increased surveillance and police presence in the individuals life renders opportunities dry, and increases the difficulty to find and maintain a job. Furthermore, the ex-convict may find themselves shunned and rejected from the community and fallen prey to official labelling, due to their previous association with the criminal justice system (Clark, 2006). This is known as labelling theory, which has the potential to alter individuals’ identities as they internalise the label of deviancy and act in a manner congruent to that label.

Stage 4: Desistance

Desistance is classified as the gradual decline in frequency, intensity, and gravity of a behaviour , described as a dynamic process involving stopping and refraining from a behaviour (Laws & Ward, 2011). To hold credibility, the individual must have engaged in serious crimes (Harris, 2017). Desistance from crime of a career lasting over the span of sixty years is valued more than one that has only lasted for five years. It can occur at any point throughout the lifespan, taking the age of onset into consideration.

A key contingency in desistance is that of age, where crime is observed to decline with age. Hoffman & Beck (1984) pitched in the idea of age-related burnout, wherein individuals exhaust themselves throughout their careers and eventually come to an ultimate halt. People also automatically adjust as they age and undergo reformation of certain problematic traits, for instance, recklessness eventually succumbs to the fear of spending time in prison.

Society’s Role

Sampson and Laub (1993) also identify the key involvement of the relationship between an individual and society in desistance, representative of the individual’s emotional attachment and determination to achieve conventional societal goals. Strong emotional bonds are linked with low chances of offending, whereas weak bonds yield opposing effects. This relationship is subject to altercations throughout the lifespan and may also reconcile individual to society by accumulating enough resources to lead a conventional life.

In conclusion, there are several contingencies factored into the criminal career as they influence the individual’s subsequent actions. Such contingencies include genetic predispositions, contact with the criminal justice system, the effects of labelling theory, as well as familiar and peer influences.

More from Betapsi here!  

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Written by Francesca Camilleri

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (1943), sex is a physiological need equivalent to breathing and sleeping.

On the other hand, sexual intimacy is considered as a fundamental love and belonging need. Therefore, maintaining healthy relationships is one of the most important factors in any person’s wellbeing, regardless of age. So, why do ageist beliefs paint older adults as asexual and view intimacy between them as shameful and disgusting?

On a similar note, the assumption that older adults’ self-esteem plummets because of natural changes to the body (like wrinkles and discolouration) which in turn affects their sex life, might be true for some, but it is not the experience of all. We must go beyond and question such assumptions, as after all, sex and intimacy needs do not diminish with age. In fact, contrary to popular belief, some studies suggest that sex gets better with age and not worse.

Yes, older adults have sex!

While the frequency of sex does decline as people age, the quality might make up for the quantity. Lee and Tetley note that while physical challenges occur more frequently with age (like vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, and physical pain) the emotional side of sex is nevertheless more fulfilling than in younger counterparts. After all, sex is not defined by penetration. People can find equally satisfying and creative ways to deal with age-related challenges.

Such solutions could include focusing more on intimate touch, something often overlooked in earlier years. Utilising sex toys, partaking in oral sex are just a few of the many examples. This is what is referred to as adaptive behaviour, proving the phrase “you cannot teach an old dog new tricks” mistaken. Such efforts come to show how important sexual connection is to older adults. They are willing to change their sexual techniques, behaviours, and patterns in order to be a “sexual survivor”. This could be a reason why people in their 80s report more emotional closeness and shared sexual compatibility than middle-aged people.

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gon’ love somebody else?”

In another study, Thomas pointed out several factors that lead to better sex. Being more comfortable in one’s body and becoming confident in one’s understandings of how their bodies work when it comes to sex are two examples.

In opposition to this, as per Kingsberg, women in their 40s and 50s reported that an improved body image would have the most positive impact on their sexual satisfaction, in turn affecting both a woman’s sexual desire and her ability to experience arousal.

These are tied to a reported increase in self-confidence that “allowed them to be freer in terms of sexual expression” (Thomas). Additionally, improved communication skills were also reported. This enables participants to feel empowered in speaking up about techniques that work and others that do not. Thus, those that do not work are avoided and those that do are emphasised and utilised more frequently.

The majority of over five hundred women between 40 and 75 years of age stated that “sexual activity was important to their overall quality of life” (Kingsberg). This is due to a rise in dopamine levels and the release of oxytocin which create feelings of romantic love and deep emotional attachment. However, intimacy does not only come from romantic or sexual partners.

Intimacy Beyond Sex

The socio-emotional selectivity theory states that older adults mostly focus on priorly established meaningful relationships rather than on creating new ones. Seniors are more aware of their own mortality and their limited time left. These intimate relationships usually manifest in friends and family, the latter usually being siblings.

Friends in adulthood are defined by a sense of mutuality. They can exchange advice and favours, confide in each other, help each other in times of trouble and try to better each other’s sense of overall well-being. Friendship is also important for better adjustment through life transitions and socialising, especially regarding finding life or sex partners. When older adults have a social network, they are more likely to have higher levels of self-esteem. This is more impactful than the person’s income or marital status (Whitbourne & Whitbourne, 2011).

Siblinghood in Older Adulthood

On the other hand, sibling relationships have the potential of being both the longest-standing and the closest relationships in an older adult’s life. This is why losing a sibling could be devastating to an older adult, especially if they were close in age.  The older adult now feels that death is closer to their reality. Siblinghood, similar to close friendship, can be a source of comfort, protection, and support during difficult time periods. Siblings share the grief of losing a parent or work through childhood trauma (Merz & De Jong Gierveld, 2016).

Interestingly, emotional support from siblings has been shown to reduce loneliness in older adults. Having someone with a common history of upbringing and similar socialisation leads to shared opinions which could be crucial in times of need like crisis situations (De Jong Gierveld & Peeters, 2003).

Debunking Ageist Misconceptions

Although society has worked on shrugging off the restrictive shackles of history when it concerns sex and the pleasure associated with it, we must create the space for topics like older adulthood and sexuality to become normalised within society. Doing so will enable older adults to think of themselves in a different, arguably more positive light. This will reassure them that their experience is normal and that they are not “past their prime”.

On a practical note, accepting that older adults have sex means providing elderly homes with tools and contraception. A doctor will also be assigned to ask about sex during routine appointments and not ruling dysfunction as a side-effect of ageing but actively trying to help. This is one way of ensuring older adults have the best overall well-being possible.

Click here for another piece on relationships by Betapsi!

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Written by Andrè Mifsud

The Independent‘s agony aunt column shared this story:

“My girlfriend Amy has an Australian pen-pal called Leo, who she has been in contact with since her early teens.  For me, this was okay – despite this Leo having a special place in Amy’s heart.  For years, they maintained contact via chats and messages.  Unlike me, he is 6’2″, rich, intelligent, sporty, athletic, tall, dark, and handsome – and I know this because Amy talks about him…a lot!  But he was always a continent away, so I never thought of him as a problem.  This was until last week, when Amy came rushing to me with a letter in hand, screaming: “Oh my god, Leo is coming over for a holiday!”  I admit, I got a bit jealous.  Amy asked me why I was stressed.  “Yes, he’s good-looking, but it’s you I love and it’s you I’m with!”  Admittedly, this didn’t make me feel any better. The day of his arrival has come, and I don’t know what to do…” – Gavin

This story adaptation makes you wonder; If you were Gavin, what would you do next? Naturally, there is no right or wrong answer. However, your answer is likely to reveal a lot about your attachment style!

The Attachment Theory

The Attachment Theory was developed by John Bowlby in the 1960s. It is based on the premise that all our relations in life are determined by a first emotional attachment. This is usually formed with the main caregiver in childhood.  This caregiver can be the mother or father or any other person with whom a young toddler emotionally connects. 

Bowlby’s theory is quite in line with Erik Erikson’s psychosocial development theory. Erikson’s theory suggests a compromise between trust and mistrust mastered during this period.  Thus, our initial relationship with our main caregiver serves as an emotional foundation of trust and security. This is where we form future relationships with friends, family, and spouses.

Secure and Insecure Attachments- The Origin Story

Ainsworth and Bell conducted an experiment called The Strange Situation. Children are put in a situation that is considered strange to them while also experiencing separation from their caregiver. In total, the child went through five stages throughout the experiment:

1. The child is in the room with their mother.
2. The child is introduced to the stranger but the mother is still present in the room.
3. The mother leaves and the child is left alone with the stranger.
4. The stranger leaves and the child is left alone.
5. The child is then reunited with their mother.

However the child reacts determines what attachment style the child has. There are two types of attachments; securely and insecurley. Insecurely then subdivides into three different attachments.

1. Securely Attached: The children easily separate from the caregiver but when they are scared or feel threatened seek contact and are readily consoled and easily soothed. When they are reunited with their mother, there is a positive greeting from the child’s side. They clearly prefer the mother from the stranger.
2. Insecurely Attached (Avoidant): The children avoid contact with the mother, and while they do not resist the mother’s effort to make contact, they do not seek it either. There is no preference to the mother over the stranger.
3. Insecurely Attached (Ambivalent): The children are wary of the stranger and are greatly upset when the mother leaves them with the stranger. They do not feel reassured when the mother tries to show comfort, and while they seek contact with the mother, they also avoid it. They avoid all contact and/or comfort from the stranger and are angry at the mother upon her return.
4. Insecurely Attached (Disorganised): The children exhibit a dazed behaviour, confusion and apprehensive. They move towards the mother but look away at the same time.  They move towards the mother but look away at the same time.

According to Ainsworth, the type/quality of attachment depends mostly on the mother’s behaviour towards the child.

• Secure Attachment: The mother is sensitive to the child’s needs, that is, being more responsive, cooperative, and accessible than other mothers. These mothers provide warm and close physical contact, especially when the infant is distressed.
• Insecure (Avoidant): The caregiver is often impatient and/or uninterested, rejecting the child and being self-centred and rigid in their behaviour.
• Insecure (Ambivalent): The caregivers are interested in the child but misunderstand their behaviour. They are inconsistent in the way they treat their children, therefore the child is unable to rely on the caregiver for emotional support.

How does this relate to adult relationships?

The securely attached individual will find it relatively easy to get emotionally close to others, depend and be depended on.  Emotionality here is mutual.  They will feel comfortable with emotional closeness and intimacy, and confidently trust partners rather than fear abandonment. 

Conversely, the ambivalently attached individual fears abandonment constantly. They are usually anxious and overthinks/doubts a partner’s love, and believes he/she will leave them. Rather than mutual effort, individuals here feel they love their partner more – because this fear of abandonment drives the ambivalently attached individual towards big gestures that not only can never be equalled but scare partners away with their intensity. Anxiety, in this attachment style, problematises trust. Reminds you of good old Gavin by any chance?

The avoidantly attached (or rather detached) individual finds it difficult to trust and depend, feels uncomfortable with closeness and intimacy, and represses feelings rather than express them.

With this knowledge in mind, let’s go back to Gavin. Gavin’s reaction to the initial dilemma reveals trust levels and security modelled by his attachment style in infancy, inevitably affecting his romantic relationships now. Even though attachment styles are believed to have formed in the first year of life, this does not mean they are irreversible!  Every new relationship we have in our life is a new chance for us to change our predispositions – regardless of secure, insecure ambivalent or avoidant – and found our relationships on the most important virtue of trust.

Check out Betapsi’s previous article here!

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Written by Rachel Dalli

It is hardly surprising that humans, by their nature as social beings, have the potential to communicate several aspects of their lives. The phenomena underlying this ability is that of the theory of mind, which describes a person’s ability to discern their own mental states and that of others. Empathy refers to the capacity to share emotions, a term often confused with sympathy, despite the chasm that lies between the two. Throughout this article these differences will be highlighted and illustrated by examples.

What is Empathy?

Empathy stems from the German word ‘Empathie’, an equivalent of ‘feeling into’, and refers to the capacity of stepping out of your own world and into that of another to such depth that you find yourself experiencing the same emotions as someone else.

Dr. Brené Brown (video above) describes empathy as the ‘vulnerable choice’ of connecting to a person or their situation by drawing upon a similar experience you have previously encountered and getting on the same level as the other person.

How Can You Show Empathy Effectively?

You must be able to look at matters from others’ perspectives, avoid judgments, and recognise and communicate the emotions you sense in other people.

Empathy is not a static quality available to a select group. Rather, it develops throughout life, gradually becoming more sophisticated. For instance, babies display primitive empathic responses by crying when other babies cry. Though this might seem too trivial an example, it clearly illustrates the recognition of another’s distress projected as one’s own. As the baby then grows, theory of mind starts developing and they learn to differentiate between others’ emotions and their own. Sustaining this distinction is essential in empathy, as it is not concerned with adopting another’s emotions, but rather, changing worldviews and feeling what other people feel by picturing yourself in their situation.

I am so sorry for your loss

Sympathy is far less personal than empathy. It merely acknowledges others’ feelings with no effort or intention of understanding them deeply. Empathy strives to bridge the gap between two people by levelling those emotions, while sympathy recognises the discrepancy and leaves it at that. Imagine your friend’s grandfather recently died and you attended the funeral. It can safely be assumed that most interactions between attendees and the grieving family would include: ‘I am so sorry for your loss’; ‘At least he lived an incredible life’; ‘At least you have beautiful memories with him’. Despite the best intentions at heart, they can often yield feelings contrary to those intended.

Instead of alleviating the pain and making the griever feel better, they may be interpreted as a failure to recognise the depth of their emotions and brushing them off by finding a silver lining. Phrases starting with ‘at least’ may convey the message that the person’s situation is not as serious as others and is therefore unworthy of the attention received. Normalising problems and issues in life may give people a sense of hope and empowerment to work through them, but it may also fail to validate the well-warranted emotions.

What can we say instead?

Instead of using phrases staring with ‘at least’ or ‘on the bright side’, show the person that you are trying to understand how they are feeling by drawing upon a personal similar experience. By connecting with that experience, you will achieve a deeper understanding of what the person is going through. While showing them that you made effort to get on their level, be with them, and show them that they are not alone.

With reference to the above example, one may say:

“I understand how you feel. I also lost my grandfather a few years ago and I know what you are going through.”

Some Tips!

• Think before you speak

Think about how your message could be interpreted. The intention behind what you say may be pure but it may come across differently. If ever you are in doubt, put yourself in their position and think about what you would rather others say to you.

• Listen

Someone may open up to you about a sensitive topic and you may not know how to answer, and that’s okay! Sometimes, it is not about what witty responses you give, but about being there for the person and listening to them. Do not do anything that seems unnatural to you. Show the person your support and appreciation with entrusting you with such personal matters. Saying something on the lines of: I don’t know what to say but I’m glad you told me. I’m here for you.

• Relate but don’t make it about yourself

Relating someone’s experience to your own is a fantastic way of showing them that they are not alone. However, be careful not to make it about yourself. Be sure to listen to the person and to tie your experience to theirs.

• Communicate

Sometimes you just do not know what to say or do, and that is absolutely fine! People react and cope to situations differently and it is hard to tell what the person needs and when. Do not be afraid to communicate your uncertainty and ask them what they need. This will help the person feel they are valued and cared for.

The post Empathy vs Sympathy: what’s the difference? | Betapsi appeared first on The Third Eye.

Written by Kristina Micallef Pulè

“Power resides only where men believe it resides. […] A shadow on the wall, yet shadows can kill. And ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.” (George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings). This quote from the beloved Game of Thrones saga tells us a lot about, well, the power of power. And power is simply what most everything is about. There are numerous way of exerting power; be it benevolent or with a malicious intent. One way it can be done is through the terrifying yet intriguing cult.

Information about the dangers and innerworkings of cults is readily available for anyone who is not living under a rock. Yet, somehow people are still joining them and ending up in potentially dangerous situations. If there is so much information about the dangers of these cults, why do people still get roped into them? Numerous theories and studies in social psychology suggest that it is all a matter of manipulation and abuse of power.

What is a cult?

Rousselet et al, (2017) define ‘cults’ as an organised group of people or a solitary person who aim to dominate others through manipulating and pressuring them. The first thing that comes to mind is religion, those types of cults are all over the media; but not all cults are based off of a religion. Some are based off a political ideology, like with the Ku Klux Klan and Nazism. Polygamist like ‘Bountiful’ in Canada, or ‘human potential-based’ like with ‘Kenja’ in Australia, and others offer unethical and unwarranted types of therapy.

Christianity started off as what can be defined as a cult. However, cults and religions are not the same thing. Christianity eventually became integrated within many societies and cultures around the world. You find people who identify as Christian but do not live their lives precisely to its doctrine. When someone is part of a cult, they have no choice but to follow the rules and norms to a tee.

Recipe for Cults

The very characteristics of a cult are what makes them so dangerous. Yet they are a source of great curiosity for those interested in group behaviour and social influence. Within a cult, you will surely come across:

1. A charismatic leader; someone who delivers grand speeches, makes each and every member feel like they belong within the community, and claims that the outside world is evil.
2. A high level of commitment to this leader. By devising a strict hierarchy, everyone does as the leader commands.
3. There are claims for answers for the most compelling of questions, and recipes for change for those seeking it.
4. Providing promises for solutions to people’s problems.
5. Very little tolerance for internal conflicts. Amidst all the propaganda and rhetoric that is fed to its members this is the scariest and most deceiving attribute of a cult is that there is.
6. External scrutiny and criticism is highly frowned upon in fear that their true agenda should be revealed.

Why do people join cults?

It is no wonder that the very prospect of joining a cult boggles and terrifies people; after all, who wants to give their freedom away like that? Social psychology denies the idea that we willingly choose to lose all control over our lives; but poses a number of theories that might just explain why we do. From a psychological and sociological aspect, we know that humans are inherently social beings; and if we’ve learnt anything from COVID-19, it’s that. Here are a number of factors that could be at play when one unknowingly forms part of a cult:

• Conformity: This is a classic example of how we surrender ourselves to group pressure. According to Asch (1950s), the more people present at a given time, the more pressure there is to conform to an opinion/idea. I can think of many instances where I have conformed to the majority in an attempt to avoid embarrassment and to fit in.

• Obedience to Authority: Milgram (1963) conducted a study where an unknowing participant had to administer fake electric shocks to their confederate partner each time they purposely got an answer to a test wrong. 65% percent of participants administered the highest voltage, thinking that they were administering real electrical shocks. When being asked, why they still administered the shocks despite their actor partner’s evident pain and discomfort, most said that they were just doing as they were told. Milgram (1963) coined the term ‘Agentic State’ – referring to when someone disregards any responsibility to their actions, just because they are being told to do so.

• Social Power: Zimbardo’s Stanford Prison Experiment (1971) is a common example of social power. A number of participants were split into guards and prisoners and were sent to a location unbeknownst to them. Almost immediately, the guards assumed a position of power and were becoming aggressive with the prisoners. Despite being highly unethical, it showed that anyone can assume a position of power when given to them, and that we can disregard our own values and beliefs to get a job done.

• Crowd Behaviour: Le Bon (1895) posed that anonymity in a crowd leads one to disregard social constraints and can lead to violence. Zimbardo (1969) coined the ‘Deindividuation’ theory, where one is said to lose their identity and individuality when part of a crowd. This is often observed in cults when people seem to disassociate from their past lives and identities in order to pursue a new one within the cult.

• Group Polarisation: When one finds themselves in a group, opinions and decisions become very strong due to that sense of community. This leads to risk taking and deciding on extreme courses of action.

• Groupthink: Due to a desire for harmony and compliance, realistic and appropriate decisions and courses of action are dismissed. A consensus might be reached without there being a critical evaluation.

Seeking Refuge

Alternatively, the seemingly unconscious attachment to such organisations is compared to addiction to substances. Like with alcohol or drugs, these communities might serve as a place of refuge and distraction from the difficult realities a person might be facing. Oftentimes, cult members recruit vulnerable people who are either; recovering from a substance abuse disorder, grieving the loss of a loved one, have just received bad news, or are outcasted from society. In turn, these people think of the cult as being a safe space – a place where they can finally belong and be with like-minded people. This is until they unfortunately realise that they have been manipulated. Eventually they start experiencing subtle (and extreme in some cases) forms of abuse; especially when they try to disassociate from the cult.

The experience of a cult-escapee:

Intriguing and interesting as they might seem, the truth of the matter is that cults are an opportunity for power-hungry, manipulative, and potentially dangerous individuals to have a surprising amount of control over a group of people like you and me. There is a lot of information out there and countless horror stories of people who managed to escape cults, but somehow people keep getting lured into them. Perhaps this happens subconsciously, or due to vulnerability, or the psychological factors mentioned above. Maybe it is a mixture of everything combined. Either way, cults are still at large, even if they are not immediately visible, and people are still joining them.

Check out some more work from BETAPSI: The Thin Line Between Sexual Deviance and Sexual Offence

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Written by Mirea Gauci

People are always taught to use the adjectives strong for males and weak for females from a young age. In a context where strong means emotionless and weak means emotional. This subconsciously led to millions of boys around the world to feel suffocated. Why? They were, and are not able to show their emotions and weaknesses around other people. All their lives men are told to ‘‘man up’’, and to ‘‘take it like a man’’, because ‘’boys don’t cry’. This leads to toxic masculinity.

Be Your Own Man

In 2020 Jessica Sanders, was conducting research on a children’s book, Be your Own Man. She visited a preschool teacher were she carried out a drawing activity. Students aged between 10 to 12 were asked to draw a man and a woman on different sides of the same paper. She also asked them to fill the rest of the white space around the paper with different words that they associate with men and women.

“Shockingly, most adjectives generated by children were stereotypical with regards to gender, with men being drawn as tall and muscled and described by words such as ‘strong’, ‘mean’, ‘angry’ and ‘sports’.”

Another common observation that the teacher noticed, was that most male students wrote that as men they should need  ‘hide’ or ‘push down’ their feelings. Undoubtedly, this stimulates considerable pressure on young boys. They are made to feel stressed and tired of having emotions that they are expected to hide. Elliott (2018) believes that because of this, males experience considerable loneliness for not being able to talk about their emotions with anyone, at the risk of being perceived as weak or feminine (“like a girl”).

Prep ’em Young!

Young children are being indoctrinated with gender stereotypes pretty early on and this needs to change. Young boys need to be taught by parents and teachers, that feelings should not be frowned upon and that respecting women is only normal and not a must. We need to start to raise more awareness on stereotypical views. Example: men having an athletic or perfect physique is not congruent to reality in most cases.

To counter this, we need to start with reconsidering all the tv shows and literature aimed at children.  If boys are solely exposed to men dressed in red and blue, and told that men need to be strong for the family by not expressing emotions, they will imitate these models, leading to toxic masculinity – in line with Albert Bandura’s theory of observational learning. Another common stereotype we are exposed to is that alcoholism and smoking are linked to masculinity. Thus, adults start conditioning children’s identities from when they are born, believing it is normal for men to behave as such.

How does Toxic Masculinity Impact Us?

During their development, these stereotypes will impact men’s mental health and consequently, our societies. As men start to conform to this toxic masculine behaviour and show traits like aggression and dominance, women’s basic human rights become challenged. These masculine ideas which we ingrain in society from a young age, put men at higher risk of suffering in silence. Without seeking proper treatment, they may turn to coping methods like drugs, alcohol or even gambling as a response to stress. Research found that, due to toxic masculinity there is an increased risk of death by suicide. A study done, in 2015, found that suicide attempts done by men were more likely to lead to death rather than those attempted by women.

So, if you are reading this article and you are consider going for therapy, do not feel ashamed.  Seeking professional help does not make you “weak” or any less of a man!  Rather, it takes courage to be that person who transforms the stereotype and change it for future generations.

The post Toxic Masculinity: Developing Stereotypes from a Young Age | Betapsi Malta appeared first on The Third Eye.

Written By Francesca Camilleri

You might have heard about the scandal of a man breaking into a farm at night to have sex with a flock of sheep. A similar case rose to public discourse as another man was found beating and molesting a horse later on. You may be wondering, why a horse? Is it because they cannot find a willing partner(s) to have sexual relations with? Possibly the thought of these people being lonely and desperate crossed your mind. Perhaps the pandemic has left an effect on their psyche?

To put it simply, the answer is… NO. Bestiality, or zoophilia, is just one example of sexual deviances or paraphilias, meaning ‘any sexual behaviour […] that is regarded as significantly different from the standards established by a culture’. In most cases this isn’t problematic on its own as many people practice atypical sexual behaviours without meriting a diagnosis of mental illness and without the behaviour being problematic.

Sex and Mental Disorders

When a person has ‘recurrent, intense, sexually arousing fantasies, urges or behaviours’ professional intervention is required. Why? It creates personal distress that does not arise from society’s disapproval. It is essential to intervene when it involves another person’s psychological distress, injury, or death. And even more so when it involves nonconsenting and unwilling persons.

The DSM-5, which reviews a list of recognised mental disorders, their symptoms and prevalence, lists the most common eight disorders. However, this list does not exhaust the entirety of possible paraphilic disorders. It includes voyeurism; the ‘peeping Toms’ of the world who spy on other people without consent. While doing so, they change or engage in sexual behaviour. Exhibitionistic disorder; the ‘flashers’ who expose their genitals or sexual acts to nonconsenting victims.

Frotteuristic disorder; involves the touching or rubbing of genitals without consent. These three acts are all coercive forms of paraphilic disorders, unlike fetishistic disorder which is considered to be victimless. Persons with this disorder use non-living objects like undergarments or high-heeled shoes or have a highly specific focus on non-genital body parts, for example feet.

And lastly, paedophilic disorder, which is coercive and is a sexual focus on children. When a girl is chosen as a focus of one’s sexual desires, the attraction is probably based on sexual gratification. An emotional connection is more likely to be the main highlight if a boy is the sexual focus. Because of the nature of these acts, most are classified as criminal offenses. Zoophilia, however which is under the general category of “Other Specified Paraphilic Disorder”, is not yet illegal in Malta.

When To Bring in the Professionals?

Professional intervention to threat paraphilic disorders is only provided when there is self-suffering, a suffering partner(s) or penalisation. The goal is active acceptance, coping and prevention of the person acting on their preferences, since the desire cannot be totally stopped.

Treatments include:

1. Pharmacological medication like anti-androgens, SSRIs, LH-RH agonists, etc.

2. CBT ( Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

3. Self-regulation to teach the person how to cope with negative emotions. It also teaches how to recognise and cope with triggers and to accept that they experience this preference.

However, if the paraphilic disorder is of a coercive type, one learns to refrain from acting on the preferences even though they are experiencing them. The line between the interest or fantasy and acting on that interest is very blurred. But as soon as one acts on their preference it becomes coercive thus becoming an illegality and penalising the persons. Relapse prevention is important, especially since one is trying to control not cure the paraphilic disorder given that sexual preference is quite stable. We do not know enough about how to treat people that offend, all these options are quite difficult in practise and treatment efficacy is quite low.

Is it a Kink or a Disorder?

A usually noncoercive paraphilic disorder is masochism which involves undergoing humiliation, bondage, pain, or suffering. Except for this disorder, which is 20 times more common in women than in men, paraphillias are almost exclusively diagnosed in men. Opposite to this is sexual sadism disorder which includes inflicting humiliation, bondage, pain, or suffering on a victim.

Keep in mind that these behaviours are only classified as disorders when impairment in functioning is present in either of the parties. If a couple with a healthy dynamic both consent to giving and/or receiving pain it does not mean they have a paraphilic disorder, it just means they have different interests than most and like to explore the pleasures of BDSM (an acronym for Bondage/Discipline-Domination/Submission-Sadism/Masochism). In fact, a study by Wismeijer found that persons who practise BDSM showed greater subjective well-being than a control group

The Human Behind Sexual Deviance

Let’s redirect our focus on the humanisation of people with simple sexual deviances that do not harm anyone. Having a non-vanilla sex life, a foot fetish or an interest in BDSM has its benefits. BDSM practitioners report increased feelings of trust in a relationship that respects boundaries. They also feel closer to their partner(s) and feel emotionally safe because they can explore their sexuality without judgment. Open dialogue and consent from all parties is of utmost importance. It’s why some persons feel that relationships that implement BDSM have better sexual communication than those without!

Thus, as long as open communication is kept, no one should be scared to take a leaf out of the kinky relationship handbook and further explore the inner passion they never know they had.  After all, as Bering states in his book Perv, there is a sexual deviant is all of us – and as long as consent is supremely respected, exploration can do no harm!

Check this article Betapsi wrote a while back on Sex Ed in Malta!

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