In the age of social media, where being accepted and liked boils down to the number of likes, comments and retweets we get, how do we feel that we belong?
Social connection is the phenomenon of feeling that we belong, that we are accepted, and that generally we are not alone. We all feel the need to connect to something or someone, in fact research claims that this is a fundamental psychological need.
Research consistently shows that people are drawn to others based on how closely we relate to them. This has led to the rise of the relatable culture. It seems as though social connection has invaded the internet, perhaps replacing traditional in-person social connection.
There’s a reason why the boundaries of what makes people successful online have changed. We enjoy things we can relate to – honest music, the intimacy in a one person YouTube video, real characters showing real emotion, etc.
Is it possible that we have created this so called #relatable culture to facilitate the replacement of the emotional connection we are starting to find harder to replicate in real life?
So, in a climate like this, can we afford not to be relatable, and committed to this form of social connection?
The want, and more so the need, to connect to others is not a novel idea. Several theorists have given importance to this concept. Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs conceptualises connection and belongingness as a basic human need. John Bowlby studied attachment in infants, showing that the need for connection is innate, with studies by several researchers observing the effects of this first attachment on our later attachment styles.
Social connection can happen in several contexts. It doesn’t require long talks or years in someone’s life. The two key ingredients for developing a connection are empathy and compassion.
This explains why we feel connected to people we’ve never met and that we don’t know. We relate to them on a level that inspires compassion and empathy, be it through music, literature, drama, a photo, a funny meme, etc.
Deeper connection, however, requires a sense of trust that needs to be nurtured. Being authentically yourself and being in the moment fosters a deeper connection. Then does this mean, that while relating to things online, and being perceived as relatable gives us a good feeling in the moment, but that what must we invest in relationships to maintain the connection?
But what is relatability? It can be defined as a longing for connection to the world. It is a desire to see ourselves in others. This is why we share what we perceive to be relatable, because we have seen that other people like it too, it connects us in some way to the outside world.
There is a sense of familiarity to what we perceive as relatable which enables that social connection, tenuous as it may be. It lets us feel that we are part of something bigger, that we are not alone, therefore satisfying the innate need of connectivity.
It’s also important to see the rise of relatability as an opportunity for representation and involvement, an area of the media – be it social media or traditional media – that has thrived as a result of this phenomenon.
