Attachment can be defined as a bond you develop through time, which consists of comfort, trust, and affection. It is the development of a loving and tender relationship with an individual.
Attachment usually occurs with our parents and this relationship is crucial. It affects how we perceive and approach problems, our self-esteem and self-concept, how we regulate our emotions and instincts, and also how we form friendships and romantic relationships.
Mary Ainsworth was a developmental psychologist who explored the concept of attachment in a lab experiment which she termed as ‘The Strange Situation’.
In this experiment, Ainsworth introduced a stranger to a mother and child. The mother later proceeded to leave the situation, leaving the child alone with the stranger and then later on, returning into the situation together with the two.
This whole process led to Ainsworth distinguishing if the child had a secure or an insecure attachment. She then mentioned that there are two types of insecure attachment, these being: Anxious/ambivalent attachment & avoidant attachment.
Secure attachment develops when parents consistently satisfy the infant’s essentials for development, such as comfort, physical contact, understanding and acceptance.
Infants raised with secure attachment develop the sense of freedom to examine the world and skills which in turn effect the individual’s self-esteem.
Long term studies on the psychological development of children show that secure attachment foster happy lives in children.
Trust, a positive self-image, confidence, high self-esteem, determination, good problem-solving skills, positive perspective on life, and solid relationships are amongst the blessings of secure attachment.
On the other hand, if the infant’s needs are consistently unmet, the infant will develop an insecure attachment. Although they aren’t undeniably doomed in life they may have to battle through many obstacles.
Studies show that there is a predictable pattern of obstacles in the psychological development of an infant. These include: limited exploration, limited skill development, negative self-image, and a pessimistic view on life, amongst many other consequences.
The insecure attachment can be avoidant or anxious and the effects vary respectively.
Infants with an avoidant insecure particularly implies emotional detachment, hiding or refusing emotions, and lack of trust in people.
Children raised in an avoidant style of attachment struggle with developing and solidifying long-term relationships. This stems from emotional narrowness; that is, learning that emotional responses like crying should be stifled. Similarly, romantic relationships also tend to be dominated by the element of fear, such as the fear of rejection.
Anxious insecure attachment style emerges due to the inconsistent patterns of sensitive responsiveness. Children may later develop rampant anxiety and uncertainty, which affects later relationships in their life. These individuals’ romantic relationships tend to spiral into obsessions and feelings of jealousy.
Parenting can be perceived with great joy, but it also has many stress and duties embedded in it. Yet, the style we choose to adopt when it comes to raising our child/children is crucial for their future.
Parents need to prepare a solid base on which their children can build their future. The way we raise and treat our children impacts how they turn out in the long run.
