It’s that grand time of the year again, when Malta proves just how bad it can be at organising events. So gather your family and friends and endure the spectacle in style. Prepare your drinks (be it beer, wine, or spirits) and enjoy.
TAKE A SIP:
For every white dress you see
Every time the postcard makes you cringe
Every time Ben Camille screws up
Every time someone next to you or on Facebook comments on Ben Camille’s appearance.
Every time the fashion police need to be called
Every time the dancers are made up like your 14-year-old sister attempting the smokey eye technique for the first time.
Every time it seems like Lawrence Gray might fall off his stool
For every friend on Facebook who’s uploading an average of 5 statuses per Eurovision entry
Every time the camera pans across a group of people holding up kartoncin with the current act’s singer’s name
For every interval act that is ten times better than the Eurovision entries
Every time you spot one direction behind Dominic
Every time someone decides to scream right before the music starts
Every time Julie and Ludwig would be a better entry
CHUG throughout every high note Franklin hits that might break the glass you’re holding right now
CHUG throughout every song that is blatantly copied
CHUG until the Eurovision semi-final in Stockholm if Ira wins
