The Closet’s Not A Home

We all want to be loved. We all know what it feels like to not want to disappoint the ones you love, yet inevitably end up doing so. It’s not because you want to. It’s painfully hard. Sometimes you have to resort to doing things you don’t want to do. But what CAN you do?

Forcing yourself into being someone you’re not can be one of the hardest things in life, undoubtedly. Like being gay, for example. Okay, let’s face it. We might’ve gotten an overdose about homosexuality and LGBT rights lately and you might think "oh no, not another "gay’ article’ but somehow I feel like this article can reach out to all sorts of people with myriad personal issues. You don’t necessarily have to be gay to understand where this is coming from. In some way, we can all feel a common connection to it. Why? Because we all want what’s best for ourselves (or what we think is best for us), without having to worry our parents, friends or anyone else for that matter.

I have always wanted to feel "normal’ and to be accepted by everyone. It’s not easy knowing you’re "different’ from the rest. What is "normal’, I used to think? Is there such a thing as normality? Meeting other people who come from different walks of life can help you have a better understanding of how many individual problems we all face. We’re all different but in one way or another we’re connected through the suffering of common issues; sexuality merely being just one from countless others.

I spent days in emotional agony because of who I am and what it means to be me, figuring out who "me’ is all about and having to avoid who exactly that "me’ is. But eventually I came around. At some point we all have to.

I shouldn’t have to hide my true self just to see my parents (or whoever) happy. I used to think "Hmm, it’s my life. They don’t need to know’ but as you grow older you’ll start to realise how better it might feel if you would actually let others know about what it is you’re truly feeling. It only gets more difficult seeing as how demanding it gets to cope with secretly going out with people you don’t want others to know about. It’s seriously tough. You’d have to end up not doing anything but simply live a lie if you’re so afraid and hooked up on what others would think of you.

No. You only have one chance thrown at you in life and one full of regrets is certainly no life to live. Make the most of it. Sure, give yourself time if it’s really what you must do until you’re on your own two feet, but bear in mind whose happiness ultimately depends on it. No one else’s but yours.

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