SEX 360 ° – The Multidisciplinary Approach to Sexuality was held on Saturday the 7th of March, 2015 at Skyparks, Luqa. This day seminar discussed local research and clinical experience with regard to sexuality, relationships and sex. Throughout the seminar a multitude of workshops, discussions and presentations were delivered. The seminar also consisted of a case study and several talks by individuals with experience in the field of sexuality.
The Third Eye was invited to cover the event with an exhaustive agenda. Although everything seemed equally interesting, it was impossible for the representatives of The Third Eye to attend all the workshops, which took place simultaneously. Therefore certain workshops have had to be omitted from this article.
Cheaters — The Real Story
The first item on the agenda for the seminar was a discussion on a scenario of a couple who have experienced infidelity. This scenario was acted out and then discussed by psychiatrist Dr Anthony Zahra, social worker Mr Steve Libreri and counsellor Mr Matthew Bartolo. The scenario presented Rob and Amanda, a married couple who undergo several changes in the family resulting in a change in the relationship between the spouses. Amanda feels abandoned by her husband, who focuses on work, and consequently falls into the temptation of having an extramarital affair with someone who provides the attention she craves from her husband. The main points of discussion were the following:
The importance of checking for STDs in the case of infidelity
The consequences of lack of communication between partners
Dealing with rejection
The consequences of childhood experiences which are not handled with care and surface in one’s adulthood
Bringing to light why the partners chose each other in the first place — Are those qualities still present? Did the partners have certain expectations?
Importance of giving attention to one’s partner
The relationship between one’s personality and employment
Perception of children — when should the children be informed of what is going on between their parents?
Perceiving infidelity as a symptom of the problem, and not as the problem itself
Concurrent Workshops
Id-Duda u l-Farfett
"Id-Duda u l-Farfett’ was one of the concurrent workshops that took place at SEX 360 °. This workshop, by Ms Joanne Farrugia and Mr Mathew Bartolo, dealt with the sexual discourse in relation to its connotations in Malta. Participants were first asked to enlist the words they used in their childhood to refer to the female and male genitals. This exercise was conducted in order to highlight the confusion created in children by referring to the genitals using analogical terms. Farrugia and Bartolo explained how such terms instil the idea that one’s genitals pertain to a mysterious part of life, one which is resultantly considered to be a taboo. They explained how this may also lead to sexual abuse, by for example asking a young boy to use his “suffara” when this term is used by the child to refer to his genitals. Other language used with reference to sexual organs, sexual activity and the menstrual cycle was discussed.
Farrugia and Bartolo fulfilled the aim of this workshop by explaining the importance of clarity in sexual discourse. Using metaphorical terms, or half-truths, with regard to this topic only strays one from the truth. Using the Maltese terms, in spite of the vulgar connotations that have been given to the terms over the years, may aid the removal of the idea that sex is a taboo.
The Play of Masculine and Feminine — Time to Speak and to Listen
In this workshop, by David Millner, what one wants from one’s partner was discussed. The workshop served as a platform for discussion. Participants expressed their desires in romantic partners, and the importance of the removal of stereotypes.
The difference between Maltese romantic partners and foreign romantic partners was also discussed. The participants concluded that Maltese partners are expected to fulfil their roles in a dutiful manner, and not as the product of love.
Millner presented the participants with an insight into the importance of sex in a relationship between two loving partners. He expressed how orgasm should not be considered to be the aim of sexual intercourse or foreplay. Both male and female partners should enjoy sexual activity without reaching orgasm.
Concurrent Symposia – The Social Strands
Chaired by Matthew Bartolo
Hypersexuality
Some people might not be completely familiar with, or even aware of, the term "hypersexuality’. This was one of the topics of discussion for the concluding symposia at the seminar.
Broadly speaking, hypersexuality can present itself as resorting to sexual intercourse as a means of coping with everything in life. It relates to excessive sexual behaviour in all aspects. Not doing well in school? Let’s resort to watching porn for some excitement. Failing relationship? Porn. Family problems? Porn. The availability of sexual stimuli is considerably present in the mind of the individual for a prolonged period of time. Naturally, these sexual addictions impact the relationship one finds oneself in. There is also an underlying sense of shame found in the individual, which sheds light on how serious the addiction is.
Criminalisation of HIV Transmission
Mr Mark Josef Rapa discussed HIV transmission from a legal perspective. Rapa explained the law enacted in 2003 with regard to the transmission of diseases. The list of diseases, which was enacted in 2005, includes HIV. Mr Rapa stated the penalties that one may be subjected to for the transmission of diseases, whether done intentionally or negligently. Mr Rapa stressed the importance of getting tested and promoted safe sex.
A National Research Study to enable policy makers to develop a preventive policy for Teenage Pregnancy in Malta and Gozo
Maria Attard discussed her work within Dar Guzeppa Debono, a philanthropic organisation in Gozo. Attard explained the stance taken in order to reduce teenage pregnancies. Dar Guzeppa Debono has worked on "Lwien’, a project offering youth with challenging behaviours, and single mothers between the ages of 14 and 18, the opportunity of participating in accredited courses with the aim of instilling a process of reflexivity. The aim of the project is to aid students recognise their potential, which will ultimately lead to better employment opportunities.
Conscious Sexuality and the Path of Tantra
Tantra is a form of philosophy widespread across Asia applied to various religions. It is about honouring and coming together with our partner. This was discussed in Millner’s talk which addressed the presence of sex in relationships. We all know that when people have sexual relationships, there is excitement and buzz kicking in. We are used to this and there are of course ways to sustain this. Sex is just something that we are not really conscious of doing, something that just "happens’ as part of the relationship as nature intended it to be. There is no necessary goal of orgasm, but just enjoying the time being spent together and being there for each other. Honesty and transparency are instrumental toward the building of such relationships. Having a clear view of what we are as human beings and realizing our needs and limits is part and parcel of a growing and healthy relationship.
50 Shades Freed
The insanely popular Fifty Shades trilogy has surpassed records of sales, amassed a legion of fans and created thousands of fan clubs for EL James’ romance novels. Sales overhauls have been widespread in kink shops with the demand of sex toys with being on the rise thanks to the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey.
Mr Matthew Bartolo described the difference between BDSM, kink and sexual fantasy. One of the top ten fantasies of both sexes is to be dominated or to dominate. Factors resulting in sexual arousal (for females) include a romantic location, teacher/student affair and having sex outdoors. For males, the list includes oral sex, threesomes and also having sex in public. Fantasies do not necessarily mean they need to be acted out. For example, many women fantasise about rape, but this does not mean that they wish to be raped.
Kink was described as Bartolo as sexual pleasure stemming from voluntarily taking on the role of submissive and dominant during sexual activity. Bartolo interestingly stated that kink is enjoyed mainly by people of high education and high positions at work and in society. Kink differs from BDSM in that people who practise this are solely turned on by BDSM and will not enjoy any other form of sexual intercourse.
BDSM is argued to be a taboo because it gets three main items of interest together. These are sex, aggression and inequality. This isn’t just a situation with a dominant/master and a submissive/slave. There is a co-creation of a fantasy world, learning to explore and enjoy one’s sexual appetites (and limits) safely and pleasurably. All different types of sexual orientations practice BDSM, along with people of a variety of social, economic, racial, ethnic, geographic and religious backgrounds.
From Duty, to Love, to Pleasure… The changing meaning of sexuality in Malta in the last 50 years
Ms Maryann Borg Cunen presented her experience, which exceeds 30 years, within the field of sexuality and the psychology of this. Her presentation began at the very beginning of her experience with sexual education. Borg Cunen described the way in which sexuality has undergone change in meaning throughout the years.
Conclusively, SEX 360 ° – The Multidisciplinary Approach to Sexuality challenged the participant’s comfort zones and inspired new ways of thinking. It was also effective in presenting all those who attended with advise and tips for healthier relationships. We advise readers to be safe and only practise BDSM or anything of the sort once there is consent between both partners. Sex should always boil down to respect.
The Third Eye would like to thank Betapsi Malta and Willingness for the invitation to such a well-organised and educational seminar. We look forward to any future events.
