Early on, his parents had started noticing certain quirks about their son. At 9 years old, he was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome but did not make much of it. At 21 years old, Jacob Callus reflects on how his condition has affected his academic life so far – from secondary school to his post-graduate studies.
Having older friends, hanging out with teachers rather than fellow students, having a passion for a few subjects; these are very common traits amongst people on the autism spectrum. These were also the signs that led Jacob’s parents to get him diagnosed at an early age. However, the diagnosis was just a word at 9-years-old, a factor like every other part of life. The implications of being on the spectrum admittedly took some time to sink in. “Now it defines who I am in terms of how I act, how I interact, what I feel and what I don’t, what I say and what I don’t,” Jacob confided, “It makes me who I am essentially.”
In retrospect, his academic journey was not unlike any other Maltese student his age.
Jacob trudged through the ups and downs of secondary school and sixth form; his eyes fixed on “the light at the end of the tunnel”: an acceptance letter to the University of Malta. To him, University was the key to a successful future, a thriving academic and professional life, and a chance to further develop his love for history, politics, and current affairs. This mentality may have been ingrained in Jacob at a younger age. However, as he experienced campus life first-hand, he quickly acknowledged it as true. “In hindsight, it was a truly enjoyable experience.”
Unfortunately, the journey to step onto the Quadrangle was not as smooth as one would have wished it.
Starting from secondary school, Jacob’s condition presented him with obstacles that he had to overcome. Whereas he excelled in most subjects and did well enough in others, he had an outright mental blockage towards Maths. Jacob burned through six different private tutors for the subject, as well as eight different LSAs at his secondary school. His last private tutor blatantly acknowledged his aversion to the subject, saying that there was no use pushing him further. This obstacle persisted as something which Jacob never overcame and simply had to make peace with. He entered St. Aloysius College under special requirements for disabled students. The two years passed blissfully without having to stumble upon any hurdles, that is until Jacob had to apply for the University of Malta.
Regardless of his satisfactory MATSEC grades, there were institutional and political hurdles yet to be crossed, as Jacob put it. “Going into university was a fight to change people’s minds,” he said. He fought for increased awareness about the difficulties autistic and disabled people face when trying to get into university. He fought for a change in mentality.
“There were ten other students with a similar condition to mine that got into university that year,” he said.
This came after UM Senate had passed a change in regulations which made it possible for people with autism and other disabilities to be accepted, despite their aversions to specific subjects. Prior to this change, students that excelled all throughout Sixth Form could still be held back by bad O-level results; results that were simply due to a natural disability.
Throughout his three years on campus, Jacob proved that his obstacles did not define him. He confidently said that he achieved the goals he had set for himself; he studied and strived like any other student, and he did his assignments and exams and graduated. Jacob has also been an active student at heart throughout all his academic endeavours. He lamented the lack of a student council at his Secondary School and got on the SAC student council the first chance he had. University was his chance to thrive. At a point, Jacob was in two student organisations and two sub-committees, managing two other online platforms and also at the leader of Kris Bajada’s KSU Presidential Campaign. Fellow students would ask him how he copes, to which he never knew how to reply.
Jacob describes being on the spectrum as a double-edged sword with regards to student activism.
Whilst his condition makes him more prone to stress and procrastination, it also enables him to work harder since he knows he is pursuing something he is passionate about. “It means that I am doing what I love, that’s what’s important,” he said, “I know I’m trying my best to make a difference in my capacity as a student.”
Having excelled both on the academic and extra-curricular front, it may be difficult to pinpoint how Jacob’s condition factored into his university experience. Thankfully, there were never any forms of bigotry, Jacob admitted. Academic-wise, he never found any obstacles, as there were always many elements of understanding. The issues he came across lie wherein there is no understanding of the nature of autistic people. People on the spectrum cannot help the way they act, what they feel and who they are. “It’s something that can’t and shouldn’t be changed because it’s who they are,” Jacob said, “It’s what they are.”
Things like the social awkwardness, the missing of social cues, the struggle to engage in social situations and steer your way through conversations; these are the things that come with the condition. However, when coming across these behaviours, people simply tend to label the person as weird. Most times, when Jacob was open about his condition, his peers would be taken aback at the resolution. “Il-aħwa ma tidhirx” or “Ħsibtek minnek hekk” would be the usual replies.
The pandemic also shone a light on another deficiency brought about by his condition.
Jacob never really settled into the at-home environment. Keeping up with deadlines was difficult and online learning was difficult to adjust to. Not being In direct contact with his friends and people in general also kept him from working on his social skills and confidence. “I learned that social media and I don’t mix really well from certain aspects,” he confided. The whole experience aggravated Jacob’s anxiety and set back his mental health, as daily socialisation became a new hurdle to overcome. Points became harder to get across and explaining certain things suddenly became more of a complex process. UM was considerate from some aspects, Jacob said, with regards to mental health, however, they left much to be desired.
Nonetheless, a virtually submitted dissertation and several online exams later, Jacob is a fresh postgraduate student reading for a Master of Arts in European Politics, Economics and Law. He is eyeing a career which entails Diplomacy or Maltese politics and continues to advocate for students like him.
“Be yourself, don’t be ashamed of who you are, and fight for what you want”