I really don’t know how to even start this. I shouldn’t even be writing this actually, but boredom, a tiny bit of frustration, and amusement made me.
What in the loving name of God makes some people give their children a name which they will probably regret for most of their memorable life? Recently there has been an uproar on popular Maltese Facebook pages asking for children’s names and the answers are sad.
I do understand that they want to be unique and stand out but dragging your suckling down with you for their whole life is a bit shameful. Let’s take a look at a short list of real names which people have named their children, and thus teaching you what not to name your offspring. The following list is in no particular order, all of the names are equally a sad attempt at being different or trying to live in Harlem, NYC.
• Desdemona – Shakespeare inspired, cultured, but should be left at that.
• Zadelshia
• Aleinad
• Shezneja
• Shirizaya
• Shaznea
• Shalaine
• Shailom – Probably meant to say ‘Shalom’ but misheard the word.
• Kliveston
• Saleisha
• Kaizyan
• Yelston
• Tahias
• Jodeas
• Elcier
• Zdeylon
• Zeleshia
• Adelshia – I think they have a fantasy in which Shia La Beouf marries Adel
And to top them all is the legendary “Dnegel”. This particular parent watched and got inspired by Francis Lawrence’s (but by Malta standard it is Will Smith’s) I Am Legend and Christopher Nolan’s Memento.
You should know that when naming a child, their name will be carried on for their lifetime, and if they actually accomplish something in life it will be carried on forward through time inscribed in some sort of memorial. Do you want your child to become Dr. Shaloshi Abela? Or God forbid they start a high-ranking company, “Our CEO and Founder Mr. Zdeylon….” Reads the company bio making people think that its some Asian company. Future parents, think twice before smashing your hand on the keyboard and trying to make out a name from the result, mainly for your child’s sake. If you want to be original and want to show off you can always legally change your own name. Think about bullies with normal names at school, and teachers telling their friends about the weird names they encounter. You can easily stop this epidemic.
To the people with unique names, I’m sorry.
