Dear boys and girls, one simple question… how many of you have set low standards and expectations in a relationship in order not to get hurt again? We come up with endless excuses to put in shadow all the bad things that our loved ones do. We continuously stare at ourselves in the mirror and see all our imperfections rather than our blessings and blame ourselves for everything that happens. All this can be summed up into one statement – we always tend to settle for less than we deserve. And that’s doing it wrong; completely and utterly wrong.
Yes, in order to love someone you should be able to see past their imperfections and flaws. However this does not mean that you should let them make a puppet out of you. You have feelings, remember? What’s curious is that recent studies have found that people tend to settle for less out of fear of being single, hence resulting in less attractive dating targets.
The study’s lead author, Stephanie Spielmann is quoted as saying that “As children, we learn that you need to find your prince charming to "live happily ever after’, and as adults, there are many negative images of those who don’t have a relationship, such as the "crazy cat lady’ or the "spinster’.” Spielmann added that fear of being single did not vary between men and women and that there are no differences based on age. This is quite interesting since women are always believed to be the ones on a mission to find their prince charming. This comes to show how everyone is vulnerable to loneliness.
BUT, loneliness is no excuse to settle for less than you deserve. There are many other ways to find your happy place in the world instead of being stuck in something which is suffocating your happiness. The single life has its benefits, a lot of benefits for that matter. It’s time to indulge in all that you love to do, spend crazy time with your friends and do things which might seem risky when you’re in a serious relationship. It’s the time where you get to travel and spend time away from home, meet new people, learn new cultures. It’s a time to discover and appreciate yourself, a time to nurture your confidence and develop a sense of independence. Your single life is a time to stare in the mirror and feel good about yourself, without needing anyone to reassure you, and start counting your blessings, which as you will discover outweigh your flaws.
Being single is nothing to fear, it’s not hell, rather it can turn out to be the best time of your life until someone you deserve and who’s worthy of your love and care comes knocking at your door. It’s easy to blame yourself when things get rough and it’s very hard to let go but if the person you love is letting you down you should not settle for that, you’d be wasting your precious time. Life’s too short to be miserable.
