With Pride season kicking in, there is a lot of talk about gender and sexual orientation going on. This implies the topic of sex in the matter but some important points tend to be neglected.
Informing people about a spectrum of sexual preferences requires an appropriate and holistic approach to explaining and creating more awareness about it.
However, our education system is still focused on heterosexual couples when teaching about sex and health.
We can’t avoid sex education
In the current guidelines for sexuality education (that haven’t been changed since 2013) abstinence was still promoted positively.
Nowadays, we know that abstinence is not realistic and sex education programs which promote abstinence are ineffective in ensuring safer sex. This is because children are equipped with feelings of shame and guilt related to sex and do not seek information and guidance when it comes to sex. On the plus side, these guidelines emphasize the importance of the respect of all orientations and awareness of gender stereotyping. Whether or not these ideologies are actually implemented in schools is another matter.
According to an article published by the Times of Malta in 2016, many students report a lack of comprehensive sex education provided in primary and secondary school (Agius, 2016). It was claimed, and rightly so, that sex education should start at primary level.
The article listed early pregnancies as the main reason to introduce early sex-Ee. However, receiving early sex education also abolishes that sense of shame and avoidance wrapped around the topic. It also encourages children to approach their parents and their teachers with questions about sex. This is necessary for a healthy and progressive conversation about sex.
Giving a holistic overview of an issue proves to be beneficial more than omitting information or pushing towards one side of the argument.
There are still many misconceptions with regards to LGBT and sex. Many Maltese people still see the LGBT community as ‘different’ and there is a lot of misinformation. There are many factors which taint the idea of diversity and fluidity of gender and sexual orientation.
Pornography
Pornography is obviously unrealistic and there have been many efforts to make this clear. Yet, it is still watched consistently and many teenagers’ expectations of sex are still influenced by pornography.
Lesbian sex is there to please straight men. Bisexual people are just used in threesomes. Women are sexually objectified to please men. These are some of the misconceptions typical of pornography.
Youths are faced with these stereotypes whereas there is no
An ashamed culture
The theme of shame is a huge factor which prevents proper sex education from taking place. Sex education should start at home but there are still many parents who are embarrassed to talk to their children about sex.
Despite Malta’s advanced LGBT-favoring law, many families are still not inclusive. There are still many people that judge people with a fluid or diverse sexuality.
Many parents try to avoid and reject teaching their children about the LGBT community, thinking that their children might ‘turn gay’ as a result.
Goes without saying that people feel what they feel naturally and avoiding the topic does not erase a person’s identity.
Gender stereotypes
It is still very much common to witness parents buying “gender-appropriate” toys and sticking to the blue-pink assignment. You have one of two roles to stick to once as early as birth.
This typical schema surrounding sex and gender makes it difficult for people to not just receive proper and holistic sex education but also to internalize it and incorporate that in their behaviour.
What can you do?
Forget Gender Roles
It would be a great idea if we make use of a combination of colours for children’s items, providing the option of different kinds of toys etc.
Earlier Sex-Ed
Sex education should be a priority in schools from an early age. Normally 13-year-olds start learning about sex-Ed but at this point, they would have already internalised a quite fixed idea of their self-concept and identity by then.
Normalize LGBT culture
Portraying homosexual couples in posters, being more sensitive to what pronoun you use, and talking about more than hetero sex help normalize as well as provide an authentic and realistic depiction of sex and sexuality.
Sex doesn’t equal gender
The internet is a wonderful creation if one uses it right. Look up the definition of sex and gender (no, they are not interchangeable) and use them right!
To conclude, it is imperative that one educates oneself before one attempts to preach. It is good to ask questions if you maintain a kind and honest approach. Information is there if one knows where to look! For example, Matthew Bartolo, founder of Willingness, is a local sex therapist who raises awareness about proper sex education and mental health.
