Written by: Malcolm Camilleri
To celebrate fatherhood, we have compiled some tips on how to become a better role model, particularly on efforts that can be made during the pregnancy stage.
Being present
When pregnant it is suggested that the mother attends regular ultrasound and physiotherapy appointments, among others.
For obvious reasons, it is not essential that the father attends, as the mother is carrying the baby and later on the mother will have to give birth to the baby. Nonetheless, the father’s presence during such appointments is both educational for the father and will hearten the mother. One could further improve his efforts by participating rather than being present; asking questions, performing prescribed exercises with the mother, and showing genuine interest would provide reassurance for both.
Adopting a similar lifestyle
During pregnancy the mother is prohibited from eating food such as sushi and unpasteurised dairy, smoking, and drinking alcohol. It is also suggested that the mother keeps active and performs pelvic floor exercises to ensure optimal pelvic muscle strength and control.
Changing one’s lifestyle and cutting off old habits could be very difficult, especially with the added effort of childbearing. The father’s adaptation of a similar lifestyle would not only let him empathise, but he would actually be supporting the mother and encouraging her to keep up the invested effort.
Decision making
It is quite often that the mother takes decisions on the purchasing of clothing, pacifiers, and bottles. Furthermore, the mother often decides on the contents of the hospital bag which is a critical decision especially at the end of term.
The father’s participation through the inputting of ideas and suggestions would contribute to potential superior outcomes, while also splitting the work with the mother. The most critical decision which requires the father’s contribution, is selecting the child’s name.
Communicating
Most fathers have a difficult time communicating, while mothers can be accusatory when talking. Nonetheless, the saying communication is key still stands.
Opening the floor for discussion on concerns, disagreements, and other criteria which may improve the relationship is essential. Finances, maternal and foetal health, and the distribution of the new responsibilities are often topics of discussion. Reaching out for help and support is a sign of strength.
Improving maternal comfort and confidence
The mother’s body experiences various developments due to the growth of the foetus and hormonal changes. These could compromise the mother’s self-confidence and comfort.
Encouraging the mother, providing positive affirmation about body image, and reassuring her in her ability to be a good mother could improve the mother’s confidence. One can also comfort the mother by giving massages and satisfying food cravings, among others. Paying genuine compliments could also elevate mood.
Romance
The foetus is often the centre of the pregnancy, as both the mother and the father often do their best to ensure optimal development. In a classical case, love and romance would have led to the pregnancy, but unfortunately this is sometimes overseen during the nine months.
While intimacy is not always possible or desired, the father must ensure that the mother feels loved as she is after all, carrying their child. Taking her out on dates and doing activities which both enjoy, could improve the parents’ emotional well-being and relieve the bouts of antenatal depression that can occur during pregnancy.
The main advantage of the father assuming an active role during pregnancy, is that it reduces the mother’s stress, anxiety, and worry. The mother’s physical and mental health is reflected in the baby’s health therefore, its optimisation is essential. In conclusion, fathers who believe and diligently act upon a mentality of “It is our baby, not just her baby” would be excellent role models, as they would be ameliorating both the mother’s and baby’s lives.
