The day and age we live in is one that empowers and celebrates the individual more than any other time before us.
It needs to be said that this is primarily a positive thing and being a little self-centred is good for you as it gives you drive and focus. However, due to an increased rate of self-interest, entitlement and attention-seeking have become a common curse – especially online.
So the question is: Is this sudden frequency of entitlement due to a modern Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) endemic? Here’s how to identify a person with NPD.
Before we delve further into the topic, a quick definition of the term:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a personality disorder with a long-term pattern of abnormal behaviour characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
psychcentral.com
Although there may be some source of genetics and biological factors involved, the development of NDP in adulthood tends to originate mostly from a place of extreme emotional trauma in childhood to the point that this person kind of freezes in the particular emotional stage of development that they are in at the time of trauma. The defence-mechanism of people with NPD is creating an overconfident identity to mask the great insecurity and low self-esteem that this person experiences. In a way, these people are in a state of emotional denial.
A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behaviour that deviates from the norm of the individual’s social and cultural context. The pattern is seen in two or more of the following areas: thinking, actions, relationships, or impulse control (or lack of it). Many people with this disorder don’t seek out treatment as they often do not feel that there is something unusual or wrong with their behaviour and thoughts. This pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back to early adulthood or late adolescence.
In fact, most individuals with NPD are diagnosed after the age of 18 because one needs to remember that most teens are still exploring their identity, especially those aged 12-16 years. This is why we do not include teens when talking about narcissism. Teens go through a phase of self-centeredness known as Adolescent Egocentrism – which was developed by child psychologist David Elkind. Some features of this behaviour and cognition at this age may be similar to what we find in NPD, like the grandiose sense self-importance and lack of empathy, however this does not mean that every teenager will develop NPD!
People with NPD, on the other hand often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes well beyond their developing teen years. For example, someone with this personality disorder may complain that a clumsy waiter is “rude” or “stupid”, or conclude a medical checkup with a condescending evaluation of the physician. However, the good news is that symptoms tend to decrease in intensity by the time one is in their 40s and 50s – especially if there is an early diagnosis.
A proper diagnosis for Narcissistic Personality Disorder is made by a mental health professional by comparing one’s symptoms and life history with those listed here. For a person to be diagnosed with NPD, they need to show 5 or more of following symptoms:
- Have a grandiose sense of self-importance
- Are preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Believe that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
- Require excessive admiration to compensate for a lack of self-esteem
- Have a very strong sense of entitlement,
- Have manipulative tendencies towards others to achieve their own ends
- Lack empathy
- Are often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
- Regularly show arrogant, superior behaviors or attitudes
The rise in individualism in our society may cause us to be more prone to vanity, however, according to a study by Brent Roberts in 2017, millennials and older adults are almost equally likely to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
If you suspect that a close friend or relative that is above 18 years of age has half or more of these symptoms, encourage them to seek help from a professional and remember to be patient as they will not understand at first why they need to go to therapy. Although it can be more difficult to maintain a relationship with a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it is important to remember that these are still people, at the end of the day. They just have a higher need for attention and reassurance. However, it is good to be realistic and assertive in any physical or conversational boundaries you wish to have with such an individual as this will give space for a more fruitful and productive dynamic.
