I never prepared for this – watching my daughter, my baby, face such a difficult decision. I knew I couldn’t make it for her, nor did I want to. I didn’t want to influence her because, in the end, the choice was hers to live with. Still, it tore me apart. 

She was an adult, capable of making her own choices. But I still felt her weight, unable to carry it for her.

As a single mother, while she was growing up, I sacrificed so much to give her the best. I gave up dreams, made her my priority, and I did it all willingly because she was my world. I didn’t want her to go through the same struggles. Selfishly, I didn’t want my sacrifices to be in vain. I wanted her to have more freedom, more opportunities. Parenting is hard. Single parenting is even tougher. I know that first-hand. And as much as I would have supported her, I didn’t want her to be another single mother struggling to do it on her own. I wanted her to be able to put herself first. 

But then there’s the other side. When she was born, she became my purpose. She lit up my world. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. I knew she would make a wonderful mother and have that same feeling of complete love. I pictured a baby, a grandchild, who I knew would be loved. It would become her world and her purpose, just like she was mine. It would be my reward for the struggles and sacrifices I had made. I fought with that thought – was I hoping she would go through with the pregnancy because I wanted her to feel the same fulfilment I had? Or was I hoping she wouldn’t because I knew how hard it would be?

But beyond my own feelings, there was the reality she faced. There was the procedure itself. Would she be okay? Was she at risk? It’s such a big decision – how could she know it was the right one? Her hormones were on a rollercoaster. She was emotionally drained. How could she make such a decision? I felt useless, unsure of how to help her. What should I say? What should I do? I needed advice, too.

The practical help we needed was available; there was help in finding a clinic and funding the procedure – things you never think you’ll need until you do. And I was so grateful those resources were there. But what about emotional support? Where do you turn? It’s a minefield – there are legal issues, beliefs and biases. How do you find someone to talk to? Someone who won’t judge, who won’t bring their own beliefs and biases into it. This wasn’t just a medical procedure; it was a life-altering moment, and my daughter needed more than just access to care. She needed support to process it all. Thankfully, we eventually found a person who listened without judgment, but why is that so hard to find?

I don’t know if I did the right thing or handled it the right way. But I hope I was there for her. I hope she felt that. I hope she found comfort in knowing she didn’t have to go through it alone. My husband, not her father, was there for both of us, every step of the way. And I can’t help but be grateful for that too, because what if she had been alone? What if she felt she couldn’t talk to us? What if she had no one to talk to? What if she had been scared and sad with no one to turn to?

Too many women face this alone, and that breaks my heart. No one should have to make this choice in silence, fear, or shame.

Sign the petition created by My Voice My Choice Org to support safe and accessible abortion across the EU.

This article was sent to The Third Eye to publish on behalf of a mother who’s hoping to raise awareness around a situation too many experience.

The post Beyond the Choice appeared first on The Third Eye.

Do some people actually benefit from procrastination?

Psychologist Timothy Pychyl referred to procrastination as a “self-inflicted wound”, but can some people benefit from procrastinating habits? Many procrastinators share a similar self-soothing rhetoric, believing they benefit from procrastination because they work better under pressure, however, a study by psychologists Tice and Baumeister found that students who procrastinate tend to have lower overall grades. The reason, they suggest, is due to a mental process called “pondering”.  Pondering is a proactive behavior where a person engages in contemplative slow thought, analyzing various perspectives of a situation, improving our ability to problem-solve immensely. When we procrastinate, we lose the time to ponder which can take a toll on academic performance.

The study also found that procrastinators had significantly higher stress levels and even more instances of illness (Jaffe, 2013). Procrastinators are also affected mentally, often reporting feelings like guilt, dread, shame, and anxiety. So why do we keep procrastinating if it makes us feel so bad?

Why do we procrastinate?

1. Instant Gratification: As humans, we naturally seek pleasure and avoid discomfort (Martin, 2021). This drive makes it easy to fall into the trap of seeking instant gratification, causing us to choose instant rewards, like scrolling social media, over delayed rewards, like finishing an assignment. We choose actions which feel good in the moment despite the decision causing discomfort in the future. Our brain’s dopamine reward system plays a major role in such decisions. Dopamine, released in anticipation for short, pleasurable activities, makes distractions feel more rewarding than tackling a difficult task. In the long-term, giving into instant gratification urges, like procrastination, weakens the dopamine pathways involved with motivation and self-regulation, making it even harder to focus on long-term goals (Martin, 2021). This creates a vicious habit loop where distractions become harder to resist, making us a slave to our dopamine system, ultimately deepening the severity of our procrastination.

2. Fear of Failure and Perfectionism: A majority of students tend to procrastinate due to their perfectionism and/or underlying fear of failure. Perfectionism upholds an ‘all or nothing mindset’, causing the assignment at hand to feel daunting and incredibly intimidating to begin (Novotney, 2010). As a result, we self-sabotage by procrastinating which paradoxically makes it impossible to achieve the standards we set for ourselves. This is not necessarily out of laziness, but rather a protective mechanism at play (Long, 2022). We want to protect ourselves from the feelings of incompetency so we will sabotage our best efforts and potential. This way, failure at the task can be blamed on a lack of effort rather than a lack of ability and competence (Jaffe, 2013).

3. Emotional Regulation: Procrastination is an issue with managing emotions, not time (Jarrett, 2020). We are aware of how much time we need for the assignment and how much time we are wasting through procrastination, yet we continue to delay completing the task. This is because procrastination serves as a way of finding temporary mood-lifters which will drown out the negative emotions, such as boredom, confusion, and frustration, which the task makes us feel. In fact, research has found that when people were made to feel negatively, by watching a sad video, before completing a task, they procrastinated compared to those who felt neutral and tackled the task immediately (Jarrett, 2020). By giving into temporary mood-lifters we build an avoidance habit which perpetuates procrastination.

4. Cognitive Biases: Cognitive biases are essentially thinking errors that warp the way in which we perceive certain situations. Such biases are partially responsible for procrastination as they falsely alter the way we view the task or our own capabilities. For instance, Piers Steel identified that procrastinators tend to view the task as increasing in importance closer to the deadline, when in reality the value of the task remains constant (Jaffe, 2013). This cognitive bias distorts the urgency of the task making procrastination appear reasonable. Another cognitive bias is the false belief that we’ll be more capable and emotionally equipped to handle the task at hand in the future, enforcing procrastination.

How do we overcome procrastination?

1. Break Down Tasks into Manageable Steps: Dividing the task at hand into smaller more manageable steps has been proven to reduce the urge to procrastinate. With this method, instead of thinking of writing an entire essay, you first tackle the introduction. This causes the task to be much less intimidating and anxiety-inducing, as well as providing faster gratification, a sense of achievement and autonomy (Jaffe, 2013).

2. Reassess and Set Realistic Expectations: As established earlier, the pressure of perfectionism and overly grandiose goals usually results in procrastination. To break this cycle, a mindset shift must be made from “I need to do this perfectly.” to “I need to make progress.”. This way, beginning the task is much less discouraging and an imperfect flow of ideas and momentum begins which can be later tailored and perfected. 

3. Pomodoro Technique: The Pomodoro Technique involves studying/working for a set amount of time and then taking a short break, for instance, studying/working for 30 minutes and then taking a 10 minute break. While this may sound too simple, the Pomodoro technique has been found to be incredibly effective in decreasing procrastination, sharpening focus, preventing burnout, and boosting motivation. By having a clear studying/working timeframe, beginning the task is less daunting as a break is already in sight (Scroggs, 2024).

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Professor Michael Wohl found that students who forgave themselves, treated themselves with gentleness and compassion after procrastinating, were less likely to procrastinate on the next task (Jaffe, 2013). By beating ourselves up for procrastination we generate negative emotions which, as mentioned earlier, have been found to fuel further procrastination. By treating ourselves with compassion, forgiveness, and remembering that procrastination is not necessarily due to laziness or a flaw in our personality, we are able to minimize the chances of procrastinating again.

The post The Psychology Behind Procrastination: Why We Delay and How to Overcome It appeared first on The Third Eye.

As an organisation, LGBTI+ Gozo offers free gender affirmation products (binders, packers, harnesses, tucking bottoms) to trans, non-binary, and intersex members, so be sure to contact them if you or someone you know needs these resources. Free counselling (both online and in person) are also available to LGBTI+ people and their families. Reach out to 9935 6622 to get more information about the sessions.

If you know of a school or business that would be interested in booking a workshop with LGBTI+ Gozo, training is available on a variety of important topics which can be tailored to the people taking the workshop. Topics include: diversity, human rights, legalities in Malta and more.

LGBTI+ Gozo are always involved in interesting projects and events like Pop In the City, Fresher’s Days and conferences hosting important discussions. If you’re interested in being involved in these kinds of events, contact them to become a member, volunteer or donate to support the movement!

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The students, along with other graduates who began their legal studies before 2021, are experiencing struggles when trying to further their education in Malta. Despite having earned their degrees from University of Essex, they are now being told that additional requirements are necessary, contrary to what had been agreed on previously.

The Faculty of Laws is insisting on students requiring advanced A-levels in Maltese and English, as well as Intermediate certificates, for enrollment in the Master of Advocacy and Master’s in Notarial Studies. The students had previously been assured by the University’s rector, Alfred J. Vella, that they would have the possibility to sit for any needed additional study units, in order to ensure nothing is missing in their education received and to be pursue their studies seamlessly.

The students argue that now requiring the A-levels and Intermediate certificates doesn’t align with what was previously agreed upon, and doesn’t value the education they have received so far. They emphasize that considering their degrees are recognized in Malta as MQF Level 6, they should be able to be able to continue the Master’s program as initially stated.

The situation has escalated to a point where even the Maltese government is aware of the issue, nevertheless, no solutions have been put forward.

Since the Master’s program is a necessary step towards acquiring a legal warrant, the students are insisting on answers from those involved in the matter. They argue that they should not be penalized for pursuing their education abroad, and shouldn’t be going through obstacles based on outdated requirements.

The post Students Perceive Unfair Treatment From Malta’s University Faculty of Law appeared first on The Third Eye.

“I want to open the doors wide open for the Youths in Europe,” MEP Peter Agius says at the program’s launch that took place at Europe House in Valletta.

The program provides students with a chance to:

• Shadow MEP Peter Agius: Gain valuable insights into the daily workings of the European Parliament.
• Access Parliament Resources: Explore the research facilities and resources available within the Brussels institution.
• Immerse in European Democracy: Experience and learn about the democratic processes at play within the European Parliament.

Who is this programme perfect for?

Students with a strong European focus in their studies or future careers can join the Study Visits Programme for a practical experience of the EU. Programs can last from one to three weeks, depending on individual needs.

Financial and logistical support

The programme offers a €700 stipend to cover basic travel and accommodation expenses. While students are responsible for booking their travel and accommodation, the programme will provide help with finding suitable options in Brussels.

Selection process

Interested students can find full details and application instructions on MEP Peter Agius’ website.
Students must submit a brief statement, explaining how the program will benefit their academic or professional goals. A selection board will then interview applicants to choose students and schedule their visits.

This program presents an exciting opportunity for youths to gain insights into the European Parliament and broaden their understanding of the EU.

The post Maltese Youths Get Direct EU Experience with MEP Peter Agius’ Study Visits Programme appeared first on The Third Eye.

Up until now, a one-year subscription to Adobe CC cost €238.66 for the first year, going up to €431.78 in following years. The student representatives want to ease the challenges this posed for students, and successfully proposed a solution to make the software more affordable. The solution put forward involves the University of Malta buying 100 student licences and offering them at a discounted rate. This way, the university has been able to offer these licences to students for just €85 per year, meaning a 65% reduction.

Achieving this compromise between the students and the University shows that when students work together and the university supports them, positive changes can happen. Kris Bajada expressed satisfaction with the outcome, stating, “This is a victory for students across all faculties. It demonstrates the power of collective action and the university’s commitment to supporting its students in their academic pursuits.”

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• Asexuality and demisexuality are individual identities. There is no right or wrong way to experience sexuality.
• Not all asexuals or demisexuals are aromantic. They may still experience romantic attraction.
• Asexual and demisexual experiences can vary widely. There is no one-size-fits-all definition, and people who identify as these sexualities can have very different experiences (as is true with any sexuality).
• It’s important to be respectful and understanding of individuals who identify as asexual or demisexual. Avoid making assumptions or stereotypes. 

Challenges and Misconceptions

Asexual and demisexual individuals often face misunderstandings due to society’s damaging expectations and misconceptions. Any sexuality isn’t a choice, neither is it a phase. It’s a part of someone’s identity, and just because they’re not the standard ‘norm’ that many are exposed to, doesn’t make them any less real. With asexuality and demisexuality in particular, it’s important to remember that there isn’t anything wrong with the person who experiences a lack of sexual interest, or sexual interest differently to what society typically experiences.

Supporting Asexual and Demisexual Individuals

• Listen and believe them. Validate their experiences and avoid questioning their identity.
• Educate yourself. Learn more about asexuality and demisexuality to better understand their perspectives (while you’re at it, learn about other sexualities too to be able to understand as many people as possible).
• Be respectful of boundaries they set. If they express a desire to avoid sexual activity, respect their wishes.

By understanding and respecting asexuality and demisexuality, we can create a more inclusive and accepting society for everyone. We don’t all feel and experience things the same way, so we may as well 

The post Asexuality and Demisexuality: Understanding the Spectrum appeared first on The Third Eye.

No experience necessary, a positive attitude and a desire to be part of something special is all they are asking for. Roles are open to people 16+, who love science, social media, or interacting with people.

Here’s what you get:

• Be part of a vibrant team and contribute to Malta’s National Science and Arts Festival.
• Gain valuable experience in science communication, social media management, or event coordination.
• Receive training workshops before the festival – will be conducted on University Campus at the beginning of September.
• Earn a certificate for your volunteer service.
• Enjoy free festival snacks, drinks, and a commemorative T-shirt.

There’s a flexible volunteer schedule and shifts can be choosen across the two days:

• September 27th: 5 pm – 11 pm (split into shifts of 3 hours each)
• September 28th: 9 am – 11 pm (split into shifts of 3 hours each)

Here’s how you can contribute:

• Social Media: Capture the festival through photos and videos and plan engaging content for social media channels. (Must have access to a camera – phone cameras are okay, but DSLRs are preferred)
• Support: Help with setting up and running interactive STEAM experiments.
• Help with Welcoming: Chat with visitors and answer their questions, as well as conduct surveys to gather feedback.

Click here to apply by August 18th, 2024.

The post Volunteer at Science in the City 2024 appeared first on The Third Eye.

For the most recommended physical protection, use dental dams, even during oral sex. Gloves can also be used for other types of sex to minimise STI transmission through contact. Regardless of the method you choose, always use new protection every single time.

Taking these precautions not only protects your health but also allows you to relax and enjoy yourself without fear of STIs.

Gay and bisexual men

External condoms are crucial to prevent the spread of STIs. Always use a new condom every time, even if you have multiple partners. Water-based lubricants are your friend to make sure the latex doesn’t weaken.

In terms of preventing HIV, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) could be something worth considering. This is a medication prescribed by your doctor, and it’s important to keep checking in with them throughout the process.

When taken daily, it can reduce the risk of getting HIV by 99%, which is incredible.

Important: PrEP isn’t a cure, and other forms of protection like condoms are still needed.Transgender men

In the case of post-phalloplasty care, follow-ups and proper discussions with your doctor are important. Discuss if there are any potential limitations or anything that could impact which form of protection is best. Hormone therapy could also affect sexual function, so take this into consideration too, depending on your own situation.

Transitioning can be a stressful process, and mental health can significantly impact sexual health.  Seeking support from a therapist who understands LGBTQI+ concerns can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can help you navigate the emotional aspects of transitioning and ensure your mental well-being supports a healthy and fulfilling sex life.

Remember, the most effective protection method is the one you’ll use consistently and comfortably, so discuss your specific needs with a professional to find the approach that works best for you.

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