Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending BetaPsi’s eye-opening new campaign: Caged Up — The Other Side of Violence, which brought forward a very important and ever-pressing issue within our society – that of domestic abuse. Although some may speculate that this is more of a private issue, and that it should be dealt with by the individuals involved, I would argue that, due to its wide reach and sheer number of individuals affected, it has transcended that status and we should become more socially aware of the situation in order for us to truly begin to reduce the amount of victims. This is especially evident when, as I myself realised whilst listening to the panel of professionals, it might be the propagation of a mentality itself, combined with the ambiguity of what actually can be quantified as abuse, that leaves many unaware of their mistreatment of others that has led to such staggering numbers. In terms of psychological or emotional abuse, it is usually not even perceived as abuse and that it should be reported.
The event began with a screening of their collaborative video with VoxPop, in which several University students were asked about various aspects of abuse, including what kind of relationships abuse occurs in, and what actually is classifiable as abuse? The video is very enlightening and informative, as it gives us valuable insight to people’s attitudes on this sensitive subject. One aspect, Petra Borg, Betapsi’s President, noted was the sheer amount of students afraid to speak up about the topic, making it evident that it is still an ever-present taboo in our society. This further highlighted the importance of raising awareness and allowing individuals the opportunity to speak out about it.
This was followed by a survivor of domestic violence’s personal story and her journey to where she stands today. Her story’s beginnings paralleled that of many other victims, where they fall madly in love with the perpetuator, and begin to be conditioned by dependence on the abuser, as they establish gradual mechanisms of implementing control. It is important to note that the most likely cause of abuse results from the individual’s absolute need for control and power, and in turn, what drives an individual into such acts of violence.
Small things, such as controlling the clothes she decided to wear to how she cleaned the house, began to spark massive arguments, which led to violence. What left me astounded was the realisation that, although victims are always depicted as vulnerable, this may not necessarily be the case, as this situation could occur to anyone. With its slow and gradual build up, you can understand how it could sneak up on a person, at which point the individual may be too intertwined and dependent on the perpetuator to have the means, strength, or courage to leave. As the survivor notes: it is a hard concept to believe that the person you once loved has become this creature. You can’t help but begin to believe their pleas for forgiveness and vows of self-improvement, as one might want to seek the good in everyone. However, what finally broke the cycle of abuse for this survivor, and ultimately accepting that her partner would not change, was the safety of her child.
What was interesting and refreshing about the campaign, is how they did not just focus on the stereotypical views of abuse, that of abuse of women by men. They showcased how it could happen in a variety of relationships, including people who were not married, gay and lesbian relationships and to other less thought of individuals in the family, such as elderly parents and children. Although importance was given to abuse on women, since, statistically, they still are by far the most common victims of abuse, the campaign helps us come to the realisation that it is not only a much more common occurrence than we would like to believe, but also that this could happen to numerous people in different situations.
They also focused on the fact that abuse is not simply just physical, as many may assume, but really, it encompasses a variety of means of implementing control and mistreatment to another individual, such as emotional, psychological, financial and sexual.
Two undoubtedly important questions that begin to surface when contemplating abuse are, firstly, why people tend to abuse others, and secondly, which members in our society are more prone to become abusers themselves later on in life? As the survivor herself mentioned during her recollection of her journey, the individual is seen as an emotional punching bag, as a method to vent out built up frustrations and anger. There is also strong evidence that proves that those who themselves were abused at a young age are more likely to then become abusers in later years and perpetuate the cycle of abuse.
I would like to finish off with a comment from BetaPsi’s President, Petra Borg, on the campaign: “we started with an idea – raising awareness on domestic violence. It started to become evident that there is still a lot to do with this vast subject that we do not actually know about, such as the details and all the interconnecting aspects that are involved and affected by this. What I came to realise, from the VoxPop video we conducted on Monday, is that a staggering amount of people were uncomfortable talking about it – and shockingly still consider it taboo. I mean, at the end of the day, we are University students and we are here to learn more and grow as individuals, and more so, to use what we have learnt and achieved to help those around us. After all, my personal opinion is that I think it’s important for anyone in the Psychology or any Humanities field in general to become aware of the social issues that surround them, and furthermore, become active within our community and learn the value of reciprocity and empathy. It doesn’t have to be your favourite topic in the world, however, education doesn’t just have to just be formal; campaigns such as this are here to teach equally valuable life experiences.”
If you are in this situation or happen to know anyone going through something similar, please reach out and contact either APPOGG’s Domestic Violence Unit, or call Victim’s Support on 179. If you would also like assistance on what to do next, do not hesitate to contact the Commission on Domestic Violence on 25687251, or pay them a visit in Floriana, to help support and guide you in the right direction.