When I was younger, I often felt that something wasn’t quite right. I generally always had a group of friends and places to go, but always ended up leaving unsatisfied. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it back then. I genuinely believed that I had some innate defect and had to get used to this uncomfortable feeling (even with the people I’d consider myself to be “comfortable” with). I felt like a living paradox, I was never able to find a group that was me, and I’ve tried a bunch. Not to say that there were anything wrong with the people themselves but it was a far more personal issue. I never felt that I was enough of anything to be in one group. I never had a niche that made this decision easy. Until this very day,
I’m constantly changing my tastes, attitudes and beliefs. The only difference is that now I see this trait as a blessing in disguise.

One of the biggest advantages of being the odd one out is that it allows you to tap into your strengths and talents in a way that’s true to who you are. It takes a lot of courage and self-reflection to let yourself be free. For me it started with wearing what I felt good in, calling out people when they said something that didn’t align with my values instead of silently agreeing. A lot of the times, people will find this encouraging. Others will be more willing to be themselves if they’re able to see someone else doing it so fearlessly. When you’re not worried about fitting in, you’re free to explore your interests and passions
without fear of judgment. Instead of thinking about what other people like, stop for a second and question – what do you like? Imagine you were being interviewed, would you know how to answer certain questions about yourself? When I first looked into what my interests were, I was shocked to realise how long it took me to articulate each response. I think this is a big reason as to why so many people don’t know what to do with their lives. Sure, there are many who really are unsure but so many are just clouded by the judgment of what others would think if they dared to do what they really wished (including myself). But the fulfilment you feel once you get to that level is seriously unmatched and I dare you to try it.

Of course, being different can be a double-edged sword even if you’ve come to terms with it. There will be times when you feel isolated or uncomfortable in a given situation. But it’s important to remember that everyone feels this way at some point in their lives, even if they’re the most likeable person we know. We all have something that sets us apart from the crowd, and that’s a good thing.

This process takes time and it’s never a completed journey. I encourage you to challenge yourself and consciously do your best to avoid falling into the trap of normalcy. Embrace your quirks even if the people around you don’t seem to find them as interesting. Talk about your passions even if people try to dim your excitement. At some point, you’ll find your tribe, those individuals who get you without any explanation. Those who will listen to you without having to ask. This day might seem far away but with 8 billion people, you shouldn’t lose hope. In the meantime, try learn from the people around you and be open to new ideas. Challenge your own perspectives by comparing them to the masses. If you’re still able to argue for your own view, then you can be sure that it’s how you really feel. And when it all gets too much, know when to give yourself a pat on the back.

Everyone likes to feel seen and validated and those 2 things don’t come easy when being yourself. Check up with yourself and your comfort level, you don’t need to go all out everyday so let yourself take a step back if you feel the need to.

Being the odd one out can be a challenge, but as cliche as it sounds it will one day be your biggest asset. Tap into your strengths and have the courage to do what feels right for you. You might just be surprised at how much you have to offer.

This article was written by an independent writer whose views are not associated with The Third Eye. The Third Eye strives to be the student’s voice, and that entails giving them a platform to voice their opinions.

The post Being the odd one out appeared first on The Third Eye.

Perfectionism is often viewed as a desirable trait. People who exhibit it are often praised for their attention to detail, their dedication to excellence, and their high standards. However, perfectionism can have negative consequences, especially when it is taken to the extreme. When individuals are unable to achieve the level of perfection they desire, they can become chronically anxious, stressed, and disappointed.

One of the most significant consequences of perfectionism is the fear of failure. This is one of the most common fears that individuals experience, regardless of age or background. Perfectionists often believe that anything less than perfection is a failure, and they will go to great lengths to avoid it. This fear of failure can cause them to become static, unable to take risks, and unwilling to try new things. This can limit their ability to grow and develop as individuals, both personally and professionally. As a result, the
amount of missed opportunities that occur because of this fear is tantalising. While it is natural to feel apprehensive about failure, it is important to understand the causes of this fear and ways to overcome it.

The fear of failure can manifest in many different ways. For example, someone who is afraid of failing may avoid taking on new challenges, procrastinate, or sabotage their own efforts. They may also be excessively self-critical and judge themselves harshly for even minor mistakes. This can lead to a lack of confidence and a negative self-image. Leading many of them to over-compensate in other ways.

One of the primary reasons why people fear failure is due to the negative associations that have been formed around it. Failure is often viewed as a sign of weakness, incompetence, or lack of ability, which can lead to feelings of shame, disappointment, and frustration. This perception of failure can be especially prevalent in highly competitive environments, where success is valued above all else.

Another factor that contributes to the fear of failure is the uncertainty that comes with taking risks. It is impossible to predict the outcome of any given situation, and this can create anxiety and apprehension. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, and many individuals may choose to avoid taking risks altogether in order to avoid the possibility of failure.

Perfectionists often believe that their self-worth is tied to their ability to achieve perfection. They may believe that they are only as good as their last success, and any failure is a reflection of their personal worth. This can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt and anxiety, where the fear of failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Perfectionism and the fear of failure can be particularly challenging in today’s society. The pressure to succeed, especially in highly competitive fields, can be overwhelming. Social media, with its curated images of perfection and success, can exacerbate these feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. Additionally, the pandemic has added another layer of stress and uncertainty, making it even harder for individuals to cope with the pressure to be perfect.

It is essential to recognize that perfectionism and the fear of failure are not healthy or desirable traits. While setting high standards for oneself can be motivating, the pursuit of perfection can be a never-ending cycle that ultimately leads to disappointment and frustration. Accepting that failure is a part of life and an opportunity for growth and learning can be a powerful tool for overcoming the fear of failure and perfectionism.

While the fear of failure is a common experience, it is important to acknowledge that it can be overcome. One of the most effective ways to combat this fear is through reframing one’s mindset. Instead of viewing failure as a negative outcome, it can be helpful to view it as a learning opportunity. Every failure provides valuable feedback that can be used to make improvements and progress towards one’s goals. By embracing failure as a necessary part of the learning process, individuals can reduce the anxiety and stress associated with it.

Another way to overcome the fear of failure is to focus on the process rather than the outcome. When individuals place too much emphasis on achieving a specific outcome, they may become overwhelmed and discouraged if they do not succeed. By shifting the focus to the process and the steps necessary to achieve the goal, individuals can break down the task into smaller, more manageable pieces. This can help to reduce anxiety and build confidence, as each small success builds upon the previous one.

This blog in particular wasn’t just written to publish. It also acts as a declaration to keep myself accountable. It’s definitely not close to perfect but it doesn’t have to be.

For now, this is enough.

This article was written by an independent writer whose views are not associated with The Third Eye. The Third Eye strives to be the student’s voice, and that entails giving them a platform to voice their opinions.

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There’s a lot of talk amongst students about the importance or unimportance of the arts. Some courses are even labelled as the “easy ones” and others are “doomed” to supposed unemployment. This is certainly not the case. Sure, the humanities don’t have pages of anatomy to learn by heart or calculations to solve but I can assure you that they don’t spend all day reading books and watching movies, (well maybe sometimes).

Many people have misconceptions about what the humanities actually entail. Academia can cover certain facets such as Philosophy, English or Media Studies but that’s not all. At it’s very core, the humanities is a study of the human condition. Think about your late night chats with your friends where you start to get vulnerable and talk about things that go beyond your day-to-day. Think about the music you listen to when you’re upset. Think of the sensations you feel when your favourite character in a series gets their way. The humanities can be found everywhere and you cannot really live without analysing your own humanity.

The best way to fully understand someone else is to put yourself in their shoes – that’s where great literature, art and music comes in. These tools act as a gateway into their own personal experiences. What better way is there to expand your emotional capacity and maturity than marvelling in the genius and beauty of a certain song or movie? Living in a society that pushes materialism onto us, keeping in touch with that softer part of ourselves keeps us human. We all live in our own bubbles, trapped within the influence of our upbringing and home. When we struggle to consider other individual’s opinions, assumptions and world views, miscommunication becomes a problem. This issue becomes aggravated when taken into the context of the entire world. It’s important to know a thing or two about the world around you, rather than your little bubble and the subject you study. Understanding other country’s cultural values and history helps you to be a more tolerant and well-rounded person. Engaging with the humanities helps you to better engage with the people around you.

What saddens me most is that people shy away from the arts in order to improve their career progression. We shouldn’t ignore the humanities because a starting salary isn’t ideal and people shouldn’t lose touch with the human condition just because they graduated. As a matter of fact, I believe that studying the humanities can make you a better scientist, a better doctor or a better lawyer. Considering that those jobs can make or break a person’s life, it is imperative that they understand the weight of their roles and in my opinion that can be done by studying the humanities. As of yet, the area where ethics
and tech meet is still grey and in need of exploration. Human moral judgement has only become more essential, especially when tackling new topics like social media, big pharma and AI. Another point I must mention is that although science is imperative to answering the environmental crisis, political understanding and media advertising will be crucial to push that message forward and achieve net zero.

People who study subjects in the humanities were shown to have better communication skills, work better in teams, have higher emotional intelligence and think critically. Naturally, humanities graduates have always had those skills but for a long time they were overlooked due to not being bound to a certain vocation. However, the work place is only getting more and more unpredictable and people aren’t sticking to the same job for long periods of time. This means that flexibility and transferrable skills are vital and that’s exactly what the humanities offer. Only a few jobs look for a specific degree nowadays.
What really matters is taking what you’ve learnt in your 3 to 4 years and applying it in a way that can add value.

When picking a degree think about what genuinely interests you and don’t be afraid to choose the ones that are deemed as less profitable or popular. Besides that, I BEG you to avoid choosing the one that you hate but looks good on paper. So, to my fellow humanities students who double check non-humanities students’ essays – I commend you and we’re going to be just fine.

This article was written by an independent writer whose views are not associated with The Third Eye. The Third Eye strives to be the student’s voice, and that entails giving them a platform to voice their opinions.

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When I first stepped foot on the rock, my first emotion was confusion. I was simultaneously
relieved to see something familiar again but also upset because I knew the adventure was
over. It’s difficult to describe, not here or there, not particularly happy or unhappy. It was
simply home. Not that I bound myself to a specific land mass but I was comfortable in the
space I was in and I hadn’t felt such comfort in a long time – for better or for worse. Nothing
can really prepare you I think. We always talk about the prep that moving away involves
but we hardly ever stop to think about how it is to resettle into an area that was once
yours. It’s almost as if you’ve lived 2 different lives. In a place that was once foreign, you
got to create a home, new friends, a routine and as much as you can try to describe it to
your old friends, they’ll never really know what happened there. The same goes for your
new friends abroad. They will never truly understand your old way of life, or even the old
you because you never come back the same, even if you try to.

After the confusion reality hits and anger strikes. Your old routines don’t suffice anymore.
You realise that there are no more wild nights that no one back home will know, no more
spontaneous weekend trips and no more walks without anyone knowing your name.
Naturally, you start to miss the freedom that moving abroad brings. Coming from such a
small island, being in a place where no one knows your aunt, nanna, or cousin is
something huge. You’re always seeing a new face, not just because you’re new to the area
but also because it’s drastically bigger than Malta. The short time span also gives you
some liberties because nothing can be too serious if you’re going to leave after a few
months. It encourages you to be courageous and to live for today because while you were
having so much fun, you knew deep down that it wouldn’t last forever. It’s funny to think
about it now because 4 months sounded like an eternity before, but I can confirm – it is not.

Then at some point, while complaining to everyone how this and that is better than Malta,
your friends finally put you in your place. It’s not without reason though and there have
been surveys proving how most Maltese youths want to move abroad, so it’s not just me
chatting with my friends. For example, the most recent being EY Generate Youth in 2021
and FreeHour’s FutureHour in 2022. According to the latest one, almost 60% of young
people would prefer to live in another European country. Without getting into the nitty-gritty
of this, I get it. Why wouldn’t we want to live in a space with more green and more
opportunities?

In that same breath, I also don’t want to demonise my home. It’s where my best friends
and family live, it’s where I’ve made the most memories, I have my little spots and
favourite restaurants. My home has made me what I am. Sure, I’ve grown a lot in my
travels but the friends I made while I was away loved me for what I was, and what I am is a
19-year-old girl from Malta, with all of my cliché Maltese nuances and habits, such as my
inability to survive in the cold, being fussy with supermarket food and messing up train
times. However, that was fine because it was all new. I know so many people that call
themselves Maltese alongside a hint of shame, but from my experience, everyone that I’ve
met found it cool to meet a person from somewhere a bit unusual. Think about it, how
often do you meet someone from a country with a population of 500,000?

As I settled the anger faded away and turned to gratitude. Not everyone is as lucky as I
was to be able to afford such an experience. Better yet most people don’t get the chance
to meet such an inspiring and motivated bunch. My time in the UK will be something I
cherish for the rest of my life and I’ve only grown since then. My eyes opened to a whole
new realm of opportunities. I didn’t realise how much I had limited myself. Certain careers
were unattainable, travelling in the midst of my degree was supposedly silly too but that
has all changed. I always claimed to be a non-conformist but for once I think I actually feel
like one or maybe I just started to conform to the group I met in the UK.

Coming back home is always bittersweet. However, I have no regrets and have no
intention of dreading home. Although I can’t pack up my life there and bring it all here. I’m
definitely going to implement all the lessons and novelties I’ve picked up along the way.

This article was written by an independent writer whose views are not associated with The Third Eye. The Third Eye strives to be the student’s voice, and that entails giving them a platform to voice their opinions.

The post Coming Back Home appeared first on The Third Eye.

The murder of Bernice Cassar happened just a few days before the “International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women”. Instead of talking about what happened, I want to talk about the bedrock of femicide and its implications.

Roderick Cassar is the first person to be charged with femicide after shooting his wife on her way to work.

Femicide was introduced to Malta’s Criminal Code early this year after the death of Paulina Dembska. It can be defined as the murder of a woman because of her gender. Femicide can be an intentional crime or it can be unintentional, such as a fatal lack of reproductive care. These killings are often done by an intimate partner or family member, usually rooted in power dynamics. What binds one case to another is that femicides are typically committed by men, the victims would have experienced some sort of abuse in the past & the rate of killings remain steady depending on the societal & economic foreground.
During the peak of the pandemic, thousands of victims had to go into lockdown with their
abuser, ultimately with no escape. In terms of the law, femicide is different to homicide as it cannot be excused through “passion”, meaning that it’s a harder crime to be excused.

When the bill was first discussed many believed that it belittled the number of male victims and saw it as preferential. Some argued that the differentiation between femicide and homicide was futile as those charged with homicide already received the highest form of punishment available. I argue that coining the term isn’t useful for the sentence per se but is there to help notice a pattern. If these crimes are labelled as such, it will be a lot easier to see why the rate is what it is, especially since the data on femicide are so incredibly low. The struggle to accept this term could reveal society’s hidden reluctance to acknowledge that gender inequality still exists and affects lives every day.

Femicide Study and Implications

This can be seen in a study conducted on 33 EU countries. The data showed that women who lived more traditionally were less at risk for violence than women who lived differently. Femicide is about control. Ted Bundy, a notorious killer, claimed that his murders were never about lust or violence but about possession. It can start from a simple catcall to show prowess but it can also manifest into something a lot worse. Certain behaviours have become normalised and are only given the time of day when they turn into severe circumstances, such as femicide. Women are so used to these instances that we tend to shift the blame onto ourselves and so does the general population.

Why were you in that area so late? What were you wearing that night? Are you sure that you didn’t lead him on? I know him well he would never do that!

Regardless of who what or where, the focus is always on what the woman did and what she could’ve done better. In cases where children are put in the mix, the situation is aggravated.

Current Protocols and The Required Amendments

Alongside this skewed mindset, we also struggle with processes that fail victims. Bernice Cassar did everything that she was meant to do. She reported him several times, sought support, told the people around her and even had a protection order and yet her case was going to be heard in November of next year. 500+ individuals are scheduled to be arraigned in court by 2024 and the number will inevitably rise. Additionally, there is just 1 magistrate (Lara Lanfranco) who handles these proceedings. Over 1,429 hearings were in the hands of a single person. That is simply not just, not sustainable and certainly not effective at reaching each victim at an appropriate time.

New systems and protocols must be created but a new mindset should also be implemented. Society must accept that the world is not yet gender-neutral, hence the policies put in place cannot be either. So far there’s a proposal for people to be able to check their partner’s police conduct for domestic abuse. Although it can be valuable to protect oneself, it also hints that victims should be responsible for their fate, in the sense that they can predict whether their partner will be abusive or not. Instead of seeing the matter as a male aggressor and female victim, we should consider everyone including ourselves as a bystander and we all have the same obligation to call violence out, no matter how small it may seem. At the end of the day, isn’t our silence some sort of societal acceptance?

Conclusive thoughts

I hope that Bernice Cassar’s tragedy and that of other women don’t go forgotten. To do this men must be at the forefront of these issues. Highlighting the struggles of a certain group doesn’t have to undermine the struggles of another. There is more than enough room in this discourse to have compassion for all. That being said, if a marginalised group is finally given the space to speak up, someone joining that conversion just to speak in favour of another cause is missing the point.

This uproar is not about misandry or partisan politics. It’s about the lives of women and I am sure that all of us have a mother, daughter or friend that we wish to protect.

This article was written by an independent writer whose views are not associated with The Third Eye. The Third Eye strives to be the student’s voice, and that entails giving them a platform to voice their opinions.

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