TAKE A SIP:

For every white dress you see

Every time the postcard makes you cringe

Every time Ben Camille screws up

Every time someone next to you or on Facebook comments on Ben Camille’s appearance.

Every time the fashion police need to be called

Every time the dancers are made up like your 14-year-old sister attempting the smokey eye technique for the first time.

Every time it seems like Lawrence Gray might fall off his stool

For every friend on Facebook who’s uploading an average of 5 statuses per Eurovision entry

Every time the camera pans across a group of people holding up kartoncin with the current act’s singer’s name

For every interval act that is ten times better than the Eurovision entries

Every time you spot one direction behind Dominic

Every time someone decides to scream right before the music starts

Every time Julie and Ludwig would be a better entry

CHUG throughout every high note Franklin hits that might break the glass you’re holding right now

CHUG throughout every song that is blatantly copied

CHUG until the Eurovision semi-final in Stockholm if Ira wins

The post The Unofficial Malta Eurovision Drinking Game appeared first on The Third Eye.

1.   Argue with a hoard of pejtrijots.

It’s just like an opinion essay, except the essay title contains the phrase "Malta for the Maltese’ and is at least two thirds, if not entirely, written in capital letters. And instead of receiving a grade, you will receive threats.

2.   Try to get an issue with Melita resolved over the phone

“Yes, I switched the router on and off during the 30 minutes I’ve been on the line. Yes, all the wires are plugged in. No, I’m not downloading any big files. No, I don’t want to upgrade my internet speed. Yes, the router is indeed switched on.”

3.   Receive game request notifications from Auntie Rita for eternity

Auntie Rita’s only hobby (besides playing Candy Crush, Criminal Case, Farm Heroes Saga and Farmville) is complaining that today’s youth are too obsessed with phones.Auntie Rita comments on every update you post within five minutes, so there’s no way you can get away with blocking her.

4.   Watch all seasons of ’Becky’

What could be more mind-numbing than studying for days on end? That’s right, Eileen Montesin.

5.   Try to find parking on Campus

“Finally after driving around the ring road for an hour there’s a parking space! Oh. Oh no. A car took up two parking spaces. I’m staying completely calm, Tina. No, Tina, this is definitely not a weapon. Oh, would you look at that…I accidentally shattered their mirror, whoops.”

6.   Date Norman Lowell

He loves everything far-right. So it comes as no surprise to you that he swiped right on your Tinder profile.

7.   Walk through Valletta during the evening on the weekend

There are 2 rules about Valletta Fight Club:      

1. Be under the age of 14
2. Mention all the people you fight at any opportunity possible

8.   Fight  middle-aged women at LIDL for the last Buy 1 Get 1 Free Chicken breast.

“Don’t make me rip out your hair, Doris. We all know that wig costs as much as this limited edition LIDL Barbeque”

9.   Watch ’Xarabank’ every single Friday night

It’s almost like a real life version of The Salott

10.   Resign your course and marry a Minister to support yourself

You’ve thought of doing this, admit it. I mean, if you’re not related to any major political figures, the only way in is to marry your way to Positions of Trust. So much easier than studying for 4+ years.

The post 10 Things Uni Students Would Rather Do Than Study appeared first on The Third Eye.

Consumers in Malta can now stream countless movies and series from almost any internet connected device by subscribing to their services starting at just €7.99 a month.

Netflix streams many well-known titles and even original shows including Marvel’s Daredevil  and  Marvel’s Jessica Jones, Narcos, Sense8, Grace and Frankie,  and  Marco Polo. All titles can be streamed in standard, high and ultra high quality.

Netflix and chill anybody?

The post Netflix Now Available in Malta appeared first on The Third Eye.

During the festive season of 2015, we’ve seen a number of campaigns advising against driving under the influence of alcohol, including the Medical Association’s #checkmate campaign, amongst many others on social media locally. There has never been as many campaigns as we’ve seen this season, and it seems like Malta is finally becoming more aware of the dangers of drink-driving, with most major taxi companies being completely booked during New Year’s Eve.

Since all the awareness has had a positive effect, why aren’t we seeing more campaigns during the rest of the year? In a Eurobarometer survey in 2010, only 1% of Maltese surveyed knew the legal drink-drive limit, so isn’t it high time we educate Maltese drivers? After all, drink-drive accidents don’t occur solely during the festive season.

With the donation of 15 brand new breathalyzers to the Malta Police Force, tests can be taken more quickly and accurately. So why not create roadblocks in roads around Paceville or Clubbing Establishments?  

Police Commissioner Michael Cassar responded to calls to perform random checks on drivers with this statement: “apart from not being viable, it would be unthinkable for us to subject everyone to a test in the hope of catching a few people. Our aim is to make our roads safer but not to oppress people.” So are we “oppressing” passengers by making them go through airport security checks? And why not take the term random literally and perform the checks on random drivers. This would discourage people from driving under the influence because they know there will be a chance they will be caught.

Let’s not kid ourselves, drivers choose to drink and drive throughout the whole year. The continuation of awareness campaigns and roadblocks will have a positive effect on our roads, making them safer to drive on.

The post Should we Only Drive Sober During the Festive Season? appeared first on The Third Eye.

Dear Malta Public Transport,

First, let me start off by asking a serious question. Are you all just a bunch of masochists who get off on the suffering of bus-users in Malta? Or did it start out as a game of strip poker, removing vital bus routes instead of clothes? I’m only asking this because I can’t possibly think of any other reason as to why you would deliberately screw up the bus system so badly.

I get that you had good intentions by introducing a few new bus routes and by modifying routes in a two-phase system, but I can’t help feeling that this was all done in a chaotic rush. Imagine this, you’re at the Qawra bus terminus two days after the route 12 was removed. You ask the MPT official when the next bus to St.Julians is arriving, the MPT official then announces to the whole mob of angry commuters that the bus 12 runs every 20 minutes in the morning. When he was told by another commuter that the route number 12 is no longer in use, he and his colleagues frantically searched through their clipboards, completely lost.

And what about schedules? Did someone at the MPT head office happen to forget to make one, or are we supposed to just show up at a bus stop and hope that the bus that passes once an hour just happens to pass by eventually? While we’re on this topic let’s bring up the updated frequency of certain routes, namely the bus 12.   A week before changes were implemented, MPT general manager Konrad Pule mentioned in an interview with Times of Malta that the bus 12 often left Valletta already full up before it arrives in Sliema en-route to Bugibba. This bus used to run every 12 minutes during the day, so why in the name of Arriva was this bus replaced with a bus that only runs from Bugibba to Sliema every half hour? How could anyone possibly think this was a good idea?

And as a last question, do you have a personal vendetta against Higher Secondary/MCAST Naxxar students and residents in Bugibba, Qawra, Mtarfa and Mgarr to name a few? Because it sure feels like it.

(Not so) Sincerely,

Everyone who has to live with your poorly made decisions.

The post An Open Letter to Malta Public Transport appeared first on The Third Eye.

Joel Caruana, better known as the paedophile who organised the "I Love Music’ teen parties, is back, and this time, he has taken it upon himself to “supply” Paceville-goers with girls to “fill their weekend”. In typical Joel C. style, he has attempted to promote his party using a poster featuring him backed by various scantily clad young girls, none of whom seem to even be of the legal age to enter the party venue.

Even so, one of the girls featured in the poster has resorted to Facebook to express her dissatisfaction of the poster appearing on various news sites. Using various expletives she explains that although she gave him permission to use her photo, she did not give him permission for the poster to receive so much negative feedback. Joel has responded to this, saying that there was nothing wrong with the poster.

Joel has been back to organising parties in paceville for quite some time now, however, none of his recent events have been as creepily aimed at young girls as his latest event, #GirlsInvasion. Perhaps he wanted to relive his glory days of "I Love Music’ during his suspended sentence, which may I add he is currently serving due to events occurring at his parties. Namely, cupping a 14-year-old’s breast, and then, in a not so well thought out move, uploading a picture of this onto Facebook.

But of course, that isn’t enough for Joel, as two years before that incident, he was charged for having sexual relations with a 13-year-old girl. As you may have realised by now, Joel just loves girls, which he made clear in a Facebook post with the caption “In person, virtual or in my mind…Girls are always present”, with a picture featuring him and another local DJ posing in front of a laptop showing lesbian pornography. To refresh your memory: Joel has also paid 15-year-old girls £10 to dance in lingerie at his past events. If you don’t absolutely despise Joel yet, just wait until you hear what he has to say about another DJ who was caught with 50 ecstasy pills in a club in St.Paul’s Bay:

“Is this the Local DJ that you want your kids to attend the club where he plays? Is it okay for you that this guy will promote weekly events in Paceville after being jailed for two years?”

Just a reminder: this is about a DJ caught in possession of drugs, not himself.

But even after hearing all the disgusting things Joel has done, Commissioner for Children Helen D’Amato has said that there is no law preventing a sexual offender from attending events where he may come into contact with minors.

So what’s left to do? Warn the young women and girls about Joel Caruana.  Let them know that the cool facade he’s trying to put up is only a miserable attempt to look like less of a pedophile, that while he thinks he’s the Hugh Hefner of underage girls, the rest of the island is cringing the second his name is mentioned. If such a speech fails, you could always show off his shirtless selfie he uploaded, those man boobs and beer belly are sure to scare off anyone else.

The post The Joel C. Chronicles appeared first on The Third Eye.

KSJC- Junior College’s Student Council recently conducted a vox-pop among Junior College students, to gather some opinions about the age of sexual consent and vote 16.

[https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=937119019662015&set=vb.433656756674913&type=2&theater]

Not only did the majority of students agree on 16 year olds voting in future referenda, but they also agreed that the age of consent should be lowered to 16. So evidently, youths feel like they should be given more responsibility when it comes to national matters and also when the subject concerns their own bodies.

As many have pointed out already, the Church in Malta would allow a couple between 16 and 18 years of age to marry. However what many fail to mention is that parents’ consent is needed for a marriage to take place. Still, this does seem hypocritical since a 16 year old is "trusted’ to know if they would want to marry someone (a decision that should last a lifetime according to the church), but suddenly is not mature enough to consent to sex. Malta is the only other country in Europe besides Turkey and the Vatican to set the age of sexual consent at 18, whereas most other European countries stand at around 14 to 16 years, with Spain standing at 13.

However, lowering the age of sexual consent while leaving the sexual education – if even present at all – Maltese children and youth receive how it is, in its terrible state, would not make sense. With a right approach to teaching sexual health to older primary school children and secondary school children, lowering the age of consent to 16 would be the right and logical way forward. Lowering the age of consent to 16 would also make contraceptives more available to youths, therefore further decreasing the cases of teen pregnancy and STDS.

Presently, precious time in court is being wasted on cases where two consenting youths are taken to court because one is 18 or older and another is 16 or 17. Usually taken up to court by prudish parents, this time could have been used up on more urgent cases, rather than a case where no damage has been done.

Where voting is concerned, a 16 year old can vote in the local council elections, but suddenly when it comes to referenda, 16 year olds are deemed too "immature’ to decide on their own future and that of their future families’. After all, it is today’s youth who will grow up and have to live with the result of this referendum, so it only seems just that they are given the right to decide about their own future.

However, a survey conducted by "Agenzija Zghazagh’ in February 2014 shows that youths did not feel prepared enough to vote in national elections and European parliament elections. And since the right to vote comes with the right to contest for an election, youths were even less keen on contesting. The participants in this survey felt they were not mature or responsible enough.

But are youths already being given a lot of responsibility?

It appears that many people, especially those who belong to an aging generation forget that 16 years olds already have to get face to face with important decisions. At 16 today, you’re expected to know what career path you want to take for the rest of your life. You’re expected to decide between an education and a minimum wage job, or even better expected to study and work at the same time. Why do we underestimate today’s youth when we already put them under so much pressure to make life changing decisions?

We are already expecting today’s 16 year olds to behave like adults, so giving them the rights they deserve shouldn’t be such a difficult topic.

The post Sweet 16? appeared first on The Third Eye.