Dear Santa Claus,
I know that you are probably very busy at the moment. However, if you think that you’re the only busy one during the Christmas period, I must remind you that I have to strike a balance between staff parties, open bars, assignments, January exams and the famous dissertation.
If you’re considering visiting our University, I should warn you, that while traffic might not be a thing in the North Pole, the situation is completely different in Malta and getting through a road called Aldo Moro (jot that name down) during the morning rush hour, might take you more than forty-five minutes.
But for us University students, the problem does not end there! In fact, the real problems will start for you once you get to University and a thought crosses your mind (no, I am not a Ronan Keating fan), in some dull and miserable corner, that you’ll find a blue parking spot where you can park your sledge, FORGET IT! And before mentioning anything about using your reindeers to be part of the car-pooling scheme, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you cannot do so, unless they own a parking permit.
Whilst, as I already mentioned, exams are less than a handful of weeks away, I must confess that I probably have to wait almost until Easter for the publication of results. But it is understandable that it takes lecturers months to correct exam papers, especially if the exam is based on multiple-choice questions. And, adding to that, I don’t give a damn about my results. The results I achieve will not determine anything, apart from my future and my career.
And please, PLEASE do not bring any presents for those malicious coffee machines around campus, who, on my worst, cold winter days, decide to snatch my money without giving me any coffee in return. They do not deserve any presents!
On a final note, I want to let you know that I would seriously appreciate some extra marks in my exams, I would consider them as a sign of good will on your behalf, but that’s a subject for another day.
Yours truly,
A UoM Student