The Mess
You’ll probably see them wearing sunglasses, and a sweatshirt 3 sizes too large for them – trying to hide the fact that their sleep schedule is doing almost as well as their juice-cleanse. Having been dragged to the stands by their friend they’ll probably be knocked out by noon on quad, coffee cup in hand.
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The Freeloader
Strategic, stealthy and most importantly “budget-friendly”. Equipped with deep pockets and about 4 tote bags in hand they prowl the grounds in search of ‘economical transactions’ (free stuff). If you think you’ve seen them before you probably have, as they have tendencies to revisit stands to “make the most” of their freshers experience.
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The Disoriented freshers
Embodiment of anxiety, excitement, and enthusiasm – but mostly anxiety. Usually found regretting their course choices and mixing up “credits” and “units” they are normally seen travelling in packs, attempting to survive their first week. Approach them calmly, and avoid using university jargon, as it would likely scare them off.
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The Partier
Frustrated that Absolut Vodka didn’t sponsor Freshers’ Week their coffee always smells a bit buzzed. Always tipsy but never hungover, you’re more likely to see them on their Instagram story at 2am later that night, than on campus. Whether they’re genuinely enjoying life or they’re trying to mask their freshers anxiety remains a mystery to many.
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The Introvert
Always prepared and informed, due to their fear of having to ask another person for help. Their worst nightmare is having to pass through the stands to make their way to the library. As they’d probably find a way to leave any conversation nonetheless – try to avoid approaching them unless you’d like to send them into a full-blown panic attack.
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The too friendly stranger
They’re that person you always knew of but never want to know. The fact that they knew who you are is already haunting enough and their persistent eye contact ups the awkwardness to an unimaginable level. After having escaped the conversation you start thinking of ways to avoid them for the rest of the year.
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The Student Activist
Always enthusiastic and smiling; making everyone question how they do it and whether they had lost their sanity at some point. Unless you plan on getting “Why student activism is important” drilled into your head, avoid being within a metre-radius of their stand. Otherwise you will probably end up in an organisation you never really understood the premise of.
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